Tips For Fighting Migraine

Who gets migraines? I do! I do! I have spent many an hour convincing myself that a migraine was a just free light show and hangover. Really, they CAN be fun. Ok, I’m lying, just like I lied when I said I was enjoying my menopause. I get migraines from various sources: Fluorescent lighting Computer…

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Ain’t No Sunshine When He’s Gone

It was the worst day of my life. There was no smell of coffee greeting me at the top of the stairs. There was no coffee waiting for me on the table. In the kitchen, there was no coffee brewing, there was no coffee at all. The darkest, saddest and coldest day of my life.…

This Is What Anxiety Feels Like

Every day I stand at my mirror. I don’t have anxiety, I’m fine. Flips hair, I am just fine. Every day I get in my car. I’m fine, I am just fine. Is that a snowflake? My stomach tightens. Does that car want over here? My mouth gets dry. Does that truck see me? My…

My Ugly Dress

Is it ok that you don’t like my dress? We can still be friends, right? No? So I bought this “cute” orange dress and learned some of my friends think it’s fugly. They were with me when I bought it and said nothing at the time. They created signs, hats and costumes to protest my…

She’s The One Who Died

Don’t grieve for her lost child. She’s the one who died. Don’t tell her the pain is too much to bear. She’s the one who died. Don’t tell her there will be others. She’s the one who died. Don’t say it. she can’t hear. Because she’s the one who died.

Your Kid Is A Piece Of Shit And It’s Your Fault

News out of the North Pole suggests that Santa is writing letters to your children to apologize for running out of the “Hatchimal.” This comes as a great disappointment as I bought all the Hatchimals to teach your little brats a lesson. I spoke to Santa, I told him that children were running rampant, becoming…

Why I Don’t Vaccinate My Children

1. I’m an idiot 2. I don’t like poking holes in my children 3. Needles are scary 4. I like when my kids get sick and almost die 5. I like wheelchairs 6. It’s funny watching my children suffer 7. I like getting other people really sick 8. I want everyone to get sick and…