Haiku – Burn

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We love a pain filled haiku.

Love doesn’t just hurt

Love will burn up your whole soul

You’ll pray for relief

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Ain’t No Sunshine When He’s Gone

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It was the worst day of my life.

There was no smell of coffee greeting me at the top of the stairs.

There was no coffee waiting for me on the table.

In the kitchen, there was no coffee brewing, there was no coffee at all.

The darkest, saddest and coldest day of my life.

The day after my husband moved out.

I sat on the couch, confused, alone and devastated.

What would I do?

How would this work now?

How would I ever get past the heartbreak and the loss?

The pain and sadness overwhelmed me. It was almost too much. I fought back tears as I looked around the lonely, cold room.

The solution came to me as I sat there crying.

Go and buy yourself a coffee. Go and buy yourself a coffee.

Good. As. New.

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This Is What Anxiety Feels Like

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Every day I stand at my mirror. I don’t have anxiety, I’m fine. Flips hair, I am just fine.

Every day I get in my car. I’m fine, I am just fine.
Is that a snowflake? My stomach tightens.
Does that car want over here? My mouth gets dry.
Does that truck see me? My heart pounds.

Every day I get to my office. I’m fine, I am just fine.
Is my boss mad at me, he looks mad. I start sweating.
Is my coworker going to even talk to me today? I feel shaky.
Will I screw up? I want to cry.

I’m fine, I am just fine.

#ThisIsWhatAnxietyFeelsLike – the hashtag heard around the world.

PS Do you want to participate? Tweet using the hashtag #ThisIsWhatAnxietyFeelsLike or follow Sarah Fader on Twitter to see what others are saying!

 

My Perverted, Drunken Valentine’s Day!!

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

Skinny and Single

My Perverted, Drunken Valentine's Day!!-minThis weekend I read about 682 posts on how to survive Valentine’s Day alone. There were your usual ideas:

1. Buy your own chocolates! Why wait for a suitor to purchase them for you? Buy your own, because you don’t already buy chocolates every day.

2. Send yourself a beautiful bouquet! Who loves you more than you? No one, go ahead and drop fifty bucks on flowers. So what if you are allergic to them, can’t afford it and don’t want them. It’s Valentine’s Day!

3. Spend times with those you love. You know, the same people who ask why you’re still single when you see them… sure, hang out with those guys.

4. Pamper Day! You deserve it, even though you spent five hundred bucks on booze last month, you go ahead and drop a couple hundred bucks on a full spa day. After all, you’re alone on Valentine’s…

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My Ugly Dress

16409503_10154099887861372_2075433428_o.pngIs it ok that you don’t like my dress?
We can still be friends, right? No?

So I bought this “cute” orange dress and learned some of my friends think it’s fugly. They were with me when I bought it and said nothing at the time.

They created signs, hats and costumes to protest my wearing of the dress. They littered the streets, looted businesses and shattered windows. They signed petitions, they whined and found safe spaces. They gathered by the thousands; burning flags, attacking police while chanting “Not My Dress.”

They went on twitter and facebook and name-called each other day and night. One group made the dress sound “cute”, another called it “slutty”. Do I impose a 90 day ban on wearing the dress to prove a point? Do I go to a higher authority for a ruling on the dress?

Sigh, life is way more than my dress. If I like a dress, I will wear it proudly, don’t be mad bro. Should we remain friends? It’s up to you however it is just a dress. No dress should come between friends. Did I choose my friends because of their clothes? No. That ass? Yes.

P.S. Are you supposed to be in this bathroom? Let me see your genitals. Hmmm, what precisely is that? (Man, I so miss last year.)

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She’s The One Who Died

pregnant-422982_1920Don’t grieve for her lost child.

She’s the one who died.

Don’t tell her the pain is too much to bear.

She’s the one who died.

Don’t tell her there will be others.

She’s the one who died.

Don’t say it. she can’t hear.

Because she’s the one who died.

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Best 15+ Sites That Pay Cash For Taking Online Surveys

Great info from my friend Elena!!

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Did you know you could make cash money from home taking online surveys? Here are the best 15+ sites that pays cash! Great side hustle!

Elena Peters

Who doesn’t want a side hustle to earn extra money online with minimum effort? This post will list 15+ sites that I use that will pay you cash for participating in online surveys. Taking paid surveys online is by far the easiest way to make money in your spare time, right from the comfort of your own home or while you are sitting in the doctor’s office waiting! This side hustle will not replace your day job but it can help you pay down debt faster, bring in extra money to make ends meet or finally get you to start a savings/emergency account. This post does contain affiliate links. See disclosure policy here.

First off, let me tell you that I was very weary of this whole concept in the beginning. If it wasn’t for a few bloggers that I admire sharing their experiences with taking online surveys, I…

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Seven Reasons I’m Sleeping With Your Husband

seven-reasons-im-sleeping-with-your-husband1. You forgot him. You’ve forgotten all the cute notes he used to leave you. You’ve forgotten the reasons you fell in love with him. You forgot him and I gave him a blowjob.

2. You stopped making him laugh. You didn’t tell him the silly thing that happened at the store, you don’t tell him about your goofy antics. You just stopped but I gave him a blowjob.

3. You didn’t ask about him. You didn’t ask about his silly antics, you didn’t engage in any conversation at all. You just didn’t ask but I gave him a blowjob.

4. You put your children first. You give them all your time, your affection and your love. You’re so busy with them that he has become secondary. Why isn’t HE first, how did you get these kids again? The guy just wants a blowjob.

5. You effin let yourself go. Really, change the stained shirt and track pants. Throw them away. Brush your hair and make an effort to look as pretty as you were when he fell in love with you. I look fantastic while giving him a blowjob.

6. He bought you the pajamas as a joke, you weren’t meant to wear them night and day. Take them off and maybe wash them. Ok, really, just give the man a blowjob.

 7. You stopped ripping his clothes off. You stopped touching him. You stopped the blowjobs, I started them up again, he loves me.

Now that you all hate my guts. I’m not sleeping with your husband, are you?

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Your Kid Is A Piece Of Shit And It’s Your Fault

magical-1090663_1920News out of the North Pole suggests that Santa is writing letters to your children to apologize for running out of the “Hatchimal.” This comes as a great disappointment as I bought all the Hatchimals to teach your little brats a lesson.

I spoke to Santa, I told him that children were running rampant, becoming too demanding and in truth, becoming little pieces of shit. He agreed.

Santa agreed.

As I recall, the song goes “He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.”

What happened to that, anyway?

When did we start apologizing to children for disappointing them? It’s a toy. How many times did you miss out on the toy you wanted? Remember the bike you wanted? You didn’t get it, you became a better person. You didn’t throw a tantrum and expect a f*cking apology from Santa, did you?

Why are children in charge? What the hell happened here?

PS If Santa is writing letters of apology, maybe he can send one to the children who asked for a cure for their cancer. Maybe the ones who asked for their parents to come back from war. Maybe the ones who asked for the grandparents to not be sick anymore. Maybe the ones who wanted a simple box of friggin crayons. Maybe Santa could apologize to these guys first and your disappointed snowflakes can wait till next year.

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The Enchantress – Laura McGowan

Oh you know me, just over here being different 🙂

Sudden Denouement Literary Collective

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The Enchantress by Laura McGowan (Skinny and Single)

His heart burst when she touched his hand.

She was magic, that’s the only explanation. He remembered the sparkle in her eyes, the blush on her cheek as she kissed him goodnight.

The longing overwhelmed him when he drew her portrait in charcoal. Night after night he worked the piece, it would be perfect, it would be beautiful, it would be her.

He was just fifteen when this enchantress came to him. She overwhelmed him, she intoxicated him, she said hello.

Hello.

The words that would forever change the life of a boy, now a man, a man who hungered for this beauty, her soul, her heart, her.

It was a meeting of the soul, a destiny that was beyond explanation.

The stories talk of love, of fairy tales, of soulmates.

They talk of first dates, first kisses, first dances.

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