Five Things I Learned When I Quit Smoking Marijuana

1. Pot affects your sleep, you think you’re sleeping, you’re not. Once you stop smoking, you’ll have the weirdest dreams of your life. 2. Pot affects your mood, once you quit smoking, you’ll never laugh at anything again. I mean really laugh, nope, never again. 3. Pot affects your smell. Now instead of smelling like…

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Five Reasons My Blog Tanked

My blog tanked. And not in a way that can be simply explained, it’s summertime or it’s Christmas time, whatever. No, I lost fifty percent of my readers every month since February 2017. It has never recovered. A professional review of my blog (which is me with my glasses on) suggests the following: 1. I’m…

Don’t Be A Cheap Prick

I’m cheap, I like to save money because I want to spend it all on beer. All of it, every single dime I make wants to land at the beer store. I find that my cheapness often leads me down a dangerous path. Car repairs. Sure, anyone can do brakes in their back yard, why…

Wrinkle Free Sheets

I heard an ad today for wrinkle free sheets and damn, I am so excited. For the low price of 99.99, I can finally have sheets that won’t wrinkle as I roll around having menopause fueled nightmares. Isn’t this just everyone’s dream come true? A frickin dream come true. Having wrinkled sheets has always been…

New Bloggers Suck

My pal suggested I start writing my rants on my blog rather than my Facebook page. Could be because she’s sick of reading my Facebook page, or secretly wants my blog to tank. Joke is on her, my blog tanked in February. Thanks Pinterest, thanks for nothing. I’ve noticed there are a lot of new…

So You Care About Suicide

Do you? Facebook says “someone is always listening” but no one has answered their phone in ten years. Shall I text you then? “I’m thinking of killing myself.” Will you roll your eyes and think “god, this bitch so dramatic.” I’ll come to your house? Well, you won’t answer the door because your house is…