How To Love Your Wrinkles When They Effin Hate You

I get it, a week ago you were young and beautiful and now you’re an old hag. You’re old, better than dead, right? Meh, I’m old too. ***waves (my arm-flab waved for an extra couple minutes.) It’s easy to hate what you look like. Menopause made you gain weight. You’re a grouchy bitch….being miserable isn’t…

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Could You Kill Someone?

All the chatter about arming school teachers is making me fricking ill. My eighth grade math teacher with a gun in her hand… jaysus. So tell me, could you kill someone? Play it out, all the way out. Don’t just think of that instant where you believe harm is coming your way, continue to the end.…

Four Things I Miss About Cable TV

I, like everyone, has jumped on the “I hate cable companies, they should all die” bandwagon. I’d feel guilty but they have been robbing me for years. Binging is my life now. (Don’t make a joke about purging, don’t make a joke about purging.) There will always be things I miss about cable, and here…

Thoughts On Pay Equity

This is Molly. Everyone say hi! “Hi, Molly!!” So, Molly needed a job, she wasn’t desperate, but she needed a job. She is highly educated, experienced and deserves a management position. Molly applied for some jobs, and received a job interview. She nailed it. Good for her, I knew she would. They offered her the…

Three Symptoms You Should Never Look Up Online

I’ve always heard that researching symptoms for yourself is disastrous. Various websites do have helpful information, but it’s easy to terrify yourself. Here are three things that you should never look up online: 1. Shortness of breath – it’s a common symptom for various things. One look online, however, and you’re told you have lung…

Ya, You Have Ham In Your Beard

The other day, I started writing a post to share this ham story. This is actually not my ham story, my ham stories are super boring. Guess what? I ate ham. Fascinating right? No. Just no. I decided to look into the origin of the ham story. I didn’t want to just go ahead taking…

Back In My Day

I will be fifty this year. Officially I am ancient. I must be old because I don’t understand anything. These millennials, always complaining about money, wah wah. Why would you pay money for a tattoo if you’re so broke? What’s with the expensive diets and grocery delivery? Hello Fresh? Hello bankruptcy. What’s with the jewelry,…

Fuck Tim Hortons?

Welcome to Ontario. Since the beginning of this year I’m supposed to boycott both Giant Tiger and Tim Horton’s. Giant Tiger for laying off a portion of their staff and Tim Horton’s for cutting perks and benefits. I’m not one for calling for a boycott of any business at any time. It’s stupid actually, the…

Writer’s Block And The Pits Of Hell

You may hate me by the end of this post. Unfortunately, my sanity depends on my writing this, so you’ll have to voice your displeasure in my comment box… and you will, and I’m scared. I haven’t written in a few weeks and we can blame #MeToo. I don’t have the stomach for watching the…