God Doesn’t Make Babies

Sex does. Dirty, wonderful, in that ditch over there, sex. Your grandma did it, she liked it!!! Your mom and dad did it, you do it. Oh wait, never mind, you probably don’t. So, I wrote a post about ugly newborns. I have had nothing but grief about how god doesn’t make ugly babies. On…

Five Things To Do Before You Turn Fifty

I am about to turn 48 and I need to do something radical. To be honest, I’m bored, while it’s fun being called an infertile old hag and a whore, it doesn’t cause the adrenaline rush you may think. Before I turn fifty, I have to accomplish these five things. I want to sing to…

Five Ways To Ensure He Wants More

Since you have a big date coming up on Saturday, I thought we could spend a few minutes talking about ways to get ready. For starters; 1. Spend some quality time sourcing out the variety pack of condoms. There is nothing worse than showing up with the big one and being disappointed. (Disappointed because you…

Why Women Hate Sex

Orgasms, why would she waste her time being pleasured when she could be ironing your shirts. You know good and well you don’t need to waste any time getting her off, that’s the last thing she wants. She just wants to pleasure you and go to sleep like a good girl. Hey, if you knock…

Get Back With Your Ex – A Love Story

Well first off, of course he misses you, you are an incredible and amazing woman. He has thought about you every day. He has been reminded of your last encounter a thousand times. Whether it was a fight, or sex, or a quick kiss goodbye, it’s forever stuck in his brain. Isn’t that intoxicating? He…

Downfall Of Family

I find it really sad that a woman who was pregnant at nineteen, and subsequently raised her child alone, thinks there is a downfall of the family unit. I thought that homeschooling children would strengthen a family unit and create more trust and harmony at home. I didn’t even hear of homeschooling until a few…

Do You Put Out For Poutine?

Of course, who wouldn’t? Four bucks worth of fries, cheese and gravy has Canadian girls dropping their pants faster than you can say “Where you going with my zamboni?” Forget tequila, that’s a rich man’s gig, all you need is four bucks. Welcome to Canada, come for the poutine and stay for the crazy, beautiful,…