Five Reasons I’m Lucky My Parents Are Dead

Please note I said lucky, not happy. I’m lucky because I never had to consider an old age home for either of my parents. With all the hype and stuff in the news, it’s quite a benefit, isn’t it? However, perhaps there is a reasonable explanation for all the complaints that you hear. 1. Dad…

You’re Perfect, Now Change

Like it or not, there are at least three details that you wish you could change about a new partner. Hair, lose the mullet, the mohawk and the stupid man bun. I’m not spending any time explaining it either, make it go away. Earrings and piercings of any description, get rid of them or else. The…

Five Ways To Avoid Being Clingy

Mother always told me to never call a guy and to wait for him to call. Lame, I’m calling dudes whenever I want, but I’m independent, so I know the line. (Why do I hear laughter?) 1. You don’t have to see or talk to your guy every day. If you haven’t slept with him,…

Why Women Hate Sex

Orgasms, why would she waste her time being pleasured when she could be ironing your shirts. You know good and well you don’t need to waste any time getting her off, that’s the last thing she wants. She just wants to pleasure you and go to sleep like a good girl. Hey, if you knock…

I Miss Lipstick!!

I’ve not worn any make up in about two months, I stopped because my mascara dried out and I didn’t want to shell out the five bucks. That was all I wore at the time, mascara and eyeliner. I stopped wearing foundation, lipstick and eye shadow a few years ago. I stopped because I decided…

Who Is Out Of Who’s League

Out of my league, what does that mean? True that I won’t fit into his million dollar lifestyle. I’m not even a high class woman with a three hundred dollar haircut. I will fall off the yacht, trip over my dress, and spill a fifty dollar glass of wine. And I just know I’ll be…

Hug A Brat Today

I never realized how much of a loss I would feel when my son moved out. I’ll admit it took five years to feel it, but it’s happened. I’m grieving the loss of my kid’s childhood. It’s as painful as any grief I have ever felt. I see women, some my age, with young kids…

Stop Feeling Sorry For Me Because I’m Single

Feel sorry for me because I’m broke. Feel sorry for me because when I get stressed, my right eyebrow falls out. Feel sorry for me because I have an unhealthy obsession with beer. But please, do not feel sorry for me because I’m single, be JEALOUS!!! That’s right, that’s what I said. Be jealous of…

Dilemmas Dilemmas

Well, well, I took a wee hiatus due to the WordPress upset of the other week. That really messed up my creative process as what’s the point? Is this the post that gets my blog deleted? This one? Maybe the one where I mention my lack of bust, or the one about strippers, who knows.…

First Dates Suck

This is amazing and so true. From Paul’s Blog “I often describe a first date as a combination of a job interview, riding a rollarcoaster and a trip to the dentist. After all, sometimes it’s successful, sometimes it’s thrilling and sometimes it’s just downright painful” Mostly downright painful, for me at least. I find getting ready…