Five Things To Do Before You Turn Fifty

I am about to turn 48 and I need to do something radical. To be honest, I’m bored, while it’s fun being called an infertile old hag and a whore, it doesn’t cause the adrenaline rush you may think. Before I turn fifty, I have to accomplish these five things. I want to sing to…

Four Ways To Make Your Life Shorter

Everyone always goes on about how short life is, but truly, I’m looking at this eighty-year-old and he sure doesn’t feel that way. He wanted to die ten years ago when his money ran out, but nooooo. Every frigging day that he wakes up, he’s pissed. So I came up with a few ways to…