Sooo… You’re Dying, Let’s Make It Fun!

The first thing you should do is anything and everything to make yourself happy. If it’s at the expense of people who aren’t about to drop dead, screw ’em, you’re dying. Let’s prepare a care package for your ex. Let’s send him all your cats! All of them and make sure to buy a couple…

The Vagina Feels The Pain

I was talking about generic brand tampons today with a friend of mine. He thinks it’s like store brand corn. It ain’t. Guys have it so easy, they don’t have to regularly fill themselves with high-priced cotton with strings. Maybe they do it recreationally, but it’s not required. Good times, good gems “so you treat…

Dear Cancer Care Ontario

I appreciate your letter advising that I don’t have cervical cancer, that is fantastic news. Cervical cancer sucks big bag. In saying that, I would like to bring your attention to several things. Your unmarked envelope with the words “confidential – only for the addressee” made me ill. It was an immediate, uncontrollable and unexplained…

In Case I Get Alzheimer’s

I thought it would be a good idea, in case I get Alzheimer’s, to write down some memories that are dear to me. I’m not expected to get Alzheimer’s, and no one in my family has had it, but I don’t want to lose these memories. When I was a kid my dad would take…