She’s The One Who Died

Don’t grieve for her lost child. She’s the one who died. Don’t tell her the pain is too much to bear. She’s the one who died. Don’t tell her there will be others. She’s the one who died. Don’t say it. she can’t hear. Because she’s the one who died. Advertisements

How To Deal With A Child Molester

Firstly, I pray to God you didn’t google this because you are dealing with a child molester. Shoot them in the head, sorry, no sympathy, buh-bye. If you’ll shoot someone for your truck, you’d damned well better shoot them for your child. My actual point is how to deal with a child molester before there…

Dear Hateful Baby Momma

What can I say, I’ve watched you for years. I’ve watched you come up with various reasons to keep your children away from their father. I’ve seen it, I’ve seen it on Facebook and at Christmas, it truly hurts me. I’ve watched you do this a hundred times. To you, he’s a bad father, why…

Bubble Parents – You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet

I read a post today called “Bubble Parents”, great post! She put her daughter in a bubble and now can’t get her out. Have a wee read. Having kids is frightening, even scarier is giving them the independence they need to be functioning adults. You think giving birth is scary? Try watching your grandchild be…

Digital Mommy

Kids are hard and it must be a godsend to give them an iPad and a couple of websites. It will make long drives completely silent and allow for the adults to do their thing. You can hand your child this object and ensure their silence for hours. Ain’t it grand? You can arrange it…

Dear Women Who Don’t Want Children

Is there something wrong with you? Nope, you just don’t want children, holy shit, what? Someone who doesn’t want children? Well, clearly we must rake these women over the coals and make them feel like crap. Let me clear my schedule, I wasn’t penciled in to destroy anyone today. Ok, I have some time now.…

Happy Father’s Day, Dad

Sadly, he can’t thank me as he passed away in 1987. Sadly, I can’t thank him either. Thank you Dad. Thank you for giving me life. Thank you for teaching me to swim, use an axe and start a campfire. Thank you for teaching me about stars, plants and rocks. Thank you for me. Thank…

Here’s Why I Kidnapped Your Child

You are neglectful. Your child is dirty and needs a warm bath. He is sunburned and his clothes don’t fit him. I have friends who would consider this child a miracle. You have four children. Do you even have the energy to take care of them all? I have friends who would put their whole…

Oh No, What Have I Done?

As you know, you can’t take words back once you say them. Luckily though, you were only heard by a select few. You can drive through the country with a bullhorn repeating it for everyone to hear, and it still doesn’t come close to the Internet. Once words are spoken, they disappear, the Internet is…