Dear Women Who Don’t Want Children

Is there something wrong with you? Nope, you just don’t want children, holy shit, what? Someone who doesn’t want children? Well, clearly we must rake these women over the coals and make them feel like crap. Let me clear my schedule, I wasn’t penciled in to destroy anyone today. Ok, I have some time now.…

Do Vegans Kill Mosquitoes?

I assume that vegans allow the mosquitoes to bite them, they ignore the urge to slaughter their disgusting little bodies. They think “oh, look at their cute little faces, adorable.” It doesn’t hurt a vegan when mosquitoes bite them. Oh hey, I just plastered Mr. Mosquito all over my arm. I left his family and friends…

Rest In Peace To My Uterus

Yep, the bitch turned on me, I’ve been pretty good to her too. I took care of her, she let me down. Hard. While I’m not regretting the loss of my childbearing years, no, **laughs for hours, no, I’m pretty good with that. It’s just menopause is really not nice. Menopause is a screaming, unpredictable child…

Wanna Smell My Flower, Or My Onion?

Do it, if you aren’t willing to walk around with a flower and an onion using these words, there is no helping you. Take a chance, get a laugh, make a bunch of crazy friends. Live a life!! Flowers to the left of me, onions to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle…

An Experiment With My Insanity – Harley Store

It’s Friday, Friday, got to get down on Friday, Friday… Man, why didn’t that Rebecca Black girl get a record deal? That was some GREAT music!!!! Yes, ok, I’m Skinny and Deaf today, she sucks. With absolutely no plan in hand, I hopped on my trusty scooter for a quick ride. It’s a bit chilly,…