Ten Reasons Why I’m Wrong To Be Happy

1. You aren’t happy, so no one else should be either 2. You see someone’s happiness and it makes you sick 3. You are just a bitch 4. No one has ever been nice to you before 5. You have ugly hair 6. Your mom didn’t cuddle you when you were a baby 7. You…

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Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me. That’s the line, that’s what I’ve been taught all my life. I guess you’re supposed to just brush it off and be grateful they aren’t stoning you, right? How about when you are called a cracker? How about being called mayonnaise face?…

Hate Me Faster

Blah blah, go ahead and hate me. Super juicy. The number of hateful comments I’ve received lately has just made me realize that my blog kicks ass. Serious, incredible ass, wait, that’s a mirror. I have made an effort to anger, enlighten and enrich the lives of those who spend their time here. Good for…

Three New Ways To Show Kindness

1. Calm the f*ck down. Don’t worry, we see how important you are! Look at you in your Honda Civic with no muffler, clearly, you are king of the world. You have super important places to be and you don’t care who you kill, you have to be there faster than everyone else. Wanna guess…

Dear Doctor Nobody

I think it is funny when sanctimonious, know it all’s go ahead and decide that I have a mental illness. “You must be bipolar” Oh, must I be? You do realize that doctors that diagnose these illnesses have gone to school for years, right? You have known me for six minutes, you read something I…

God Doesn’t Make Babies

Sex does. Dirty, wonderful, in that ditch over there, sex. Your grandma did it, she liked it!!! Your mom and dad did it, you do it. Oh wait, never mind, you probably don’t. So, I wrote a post about ugly newborns. I have had nothing but grief about how god doesn’t make ugly babies. On…

Haiku – Kiss

So, hello there. How the heck are you guys? I know I haven’t posted much lately and that’s because I’ve been writing some “awesome” hiakus instead. Perhaps you will like them. Here’s one now 🙂  

Seven People That Need Punched In The Crotch

While there are hundreds of people who individually need a punch to the junk, I’ve isolated seven personalities that really, really deserve to keep ice on their crotches for a good week or more. 1. Those that call me a feminist. This makes me laugh. If I had my way, I’d let my man take care…

The Sad Clown

I believe the best comedy comes from those battling the biggest demons. As a defense, they use humour just to get through their day. Yes! This IS a good thing, it’s awesome to laugh your troubles away. Sometimes. The sad part about this is they really can’t be themselves with anyone, ever. They have their…

Coping With A Lost Spouse

Firstly, I’m sorry you lost your spouse. I hope you’re doing ok. With the relationship ending suddenly, you likely didn’t come to hate them as you may have had they lived. Think about it, another thirty years with that person? Ya ya, sounds wonderful to me too. Since you were once loved so well, and you’re so young,…