Men Buying Tampons

Look at em all, they’re everywhere. Men with confused looks upon their faces. Here are four reasons you should never send a man to buy tampons: 1. It probably makes him uncomfortable. Well, unless he’s my kid, then he will juggle them in the store. 2. He doesn’t care about your stupid, bleeding vagina. Your…

Dear Cancer Care Ontario

I appreciate your letter advising that I don’t have cervical cancer, that is fantastic news. Cervical cancer sucks big bag. In saying that, I would like to bring your attention to several things. Your unmarked envelope with the words “confidential – only for the addressee” made me ill. It was an immediate, uncontrollable and unexplained…

In Case I Get Alzheimer’s

I thought it would be a good idea, in case I get Alzheimer’s, to write down some memories that are dear to me. I’m not expected to get Alzheimer’s, and no one in my family has had it, but I don’t want to lose these memories. When I was a kid my dad would take…

Rest In Peace To My Uterus

Yep, the bitch turned on me, I’ve been pretty good to her too. I took care of her, she let me down. Hard. While I’m not regretting the loss of my childbearing years, no, **laughs for hours, no, I’m pretty good with that. It’s just menopause is really not nice. Menopause is a screaming, unpredictable child…

Abortion – No, It’s Not For Everyone

This topic is controversial as hell, so I put on my ex-husband’s balls. Still have em, keep em in a bag. Let’s talk about the disgusting displays, the billboards depicting the broken bodies of aborted infants. It’s very graphic, it’s very disturbing, and yes, it’s what abortion looks like. I’m sorry. I’m sorry you refuse…

You Remember You

Do you? Who are you? Are you a wife, mother, sister? An artist, writer, painter? A doctor, lawyer, accountant? I guess if you’re lucky, you’re a well balanced bit of each? Well la-dee-dah, I bet no one can say they’re well balanced. We are all stressed out, we’re all in debt (if you aren’t, I…