Slut Shaming Sluts

Look, you don’t want to be slut shamed? Don’t be a damned slut! I’ve been told that slut shaming is wrong. Women should be allowed to have indiscriminate sex with multiple partners without church goers like me looking down on them. Oh, ok, damn, did I f*ck up again? Silly, lily white me. So a…

Why Women Hate Sex

Orgasms, why would she waste her time being pleasured when she could be ironing your shirts. You know good and well you don’t need to waste any time getting her off, that’s the last thing she wants. She just wants to pleasure you and go to sleep like a good girl. Hey, if you knock…

If I Was Married Fifty Years

I’ve scrubbed more shit skids out of a grown man’s underwear than I care to imagine. I’ve seen a man throw up, walk into walls and stumble his ass into bed. I’ve seen him refuse to go to the doctor’s, for the simplest thing, to the point it drives a person insane. I’ve seen him acting…

A Hopeless Romantic

I believe in the fairy tale, whether it’s happened for me or not. I believe in happily ever after, even though it’s hard work. I believe in love at first sight, even though my story in that regard was a dismal failure after thirty years. I believe. It’s possible I won’t find my Mr. Right,…

Till Bored Do Us Part

Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony. To love, honour and cherish…. Until you are bored Or until your Twitter account is no longer suspended Or until your Facebook crush comes back online Or until one of you is fat Or until your jokes are…