Four Reasons I Screamed At Your Child

I am a reasonably patient person, I once waited at the Walmart deli counter for 25 minutes so I could save fifty cents. I went there for turkey, I was getting turkey. Children test my patience, frequently. They do not give one shit. Worse, since the little brats aren’t mine, I can’t take away one…

Parenting Groups Are For Stupid People

Recently I found a Facebook group for parents and gleefully spent hours there until my sudden demise yesterday. They kicked me out? Yep. Kicked out. No warning. No nothing. There wasn’t even a reason for it, they’re just mean. Well, ok, if you’re going to name your daughter Mayhem, I’m going to tell you you’re…

Did My Baby Die Of SIDS Because It Hates Me?

“Gasp!!! You’re so insensitive.” Maybe. Maybe I am. No one knows why babies die of SIDS, this is as good a reason as any. Mothers always blame themselves anyways. They throw themselves into a deep depression. Spend years wondering what they’ve done wrong. Hover over any other children with a terrified look on their faces.…

She’s The One Who Died

Don’t grieve for her lost child. She’s the one who died. Don’t tell her the pain is too much to bear. She’s the one who died. Don’t tell her there will be others. She’s the one who died. Don’t say it. she can’t hear. Because she’s the one who died.

Why I Don’t Vaccinate My Children

1. I’m an idiot 2. I don’t like poking holes in my children 3. Needles are scary 4. I like when my kids get sick and almost die 5. I like wheelchairs 6. It’s funny watching my children suffer 7. I like getting other people really sick 8. I want everyone to get sick and…

God Doesn’t Make Babies

Sex does. Dirty, wonderful, in that ditch over there, sex. Your grandma did it, she liked it!!! Your mom and dad did it, you do it. Oh wait, never mind, you probably don’t. So, I wrote a post about ugly newborns. I have had nothing but grief about how god doesn’t make ugly babies. On…

Seven People That Need Punched In The Crotch

While there are hundreds of people who individually need a punch to the junk, I’ve isolated seven personalities that really, really deserve to keep ice on their crotches for a good week or more. 1. Those that call me a feminist. This makes me laugh. If I had my way, I’d let my man take care…

How To Deal With A Child Molester

Firstly, I pray to God you didn’t google this because you are dealing with a child molester. Shoot them in the head, sorry, no sympathy, buh-bye. If you’ll shoot someone for your truck, you’d damned well better shoot them for your child. My actual point is how to deal with a child molester before there…