Could You Kill Someone?

All the chatter about arming school teachers is making me fricking ill. My eighth grade math teacher with a gun in her hand… jaysus. So tell me, could you kill someone? Play it out, all the way out. Don’t just think of that instant where you believe harm is coming your way, continue to the end.…

Four Reasons I Screamed At Your Child

I am a reasonably patient person, I once waited at the Walmart deli counter for 25 minutes so I could save fifty cents. I went there for turkey, I was getting turkey. Children test my patience, frequently. They do not give one shit. Worse, since the little brats aren’t mine, I can’t take away one…

Five Reasons Dogs Are Not People

So yesterday I spent a good five hours in a heated conversation (with lunatics) about how I must be an animal abuser for calling a dog a dog. Look, I called it a dog because it’s a dog, not for any other reason. Loving an animal as much as a human does not make it…

Parenting Groups Are For Stupid People

Recently I found a Facebook group for parents and gleefully spent hours there until my sudden demise yesterday. They kicked me out? Yep. Kicked out. No warning. No nothing. There wasn’t even a reason for it, they’re just mean. Well, ok, if you’re going to name your daughter Mayhem, I’m going to tell you you’re…

Seven People That Need Punched In The Crotch

While there are hundreds of people who individually need a punch to the junk, I’ve isolated seven personalities that really, really deserve to keep ice on their crotches for a good week or more. 1. Those that call me a feminist. This makes me laugh. If I had my way, I’d let my man take care…

The Sad Clown

I believe the best comedy comes from those battling the biggest demons. As a defense, they use humour just to get through their day. Yes! This IS a good thing, it’s awesome to laugh your troubles away. Sometimes. The sad part about this is they really can’t be themselves with anyone, ever. They have their…