Five Things I Learned When I Quit Smoking Marijuana

joint-2019478_19201. Pot affects your sleep, you think you’re sleeping, you’re not. Once you stop smoking, you’ll have the weirdest dreams of your life.

2. Pot affects your mood, once you quit smoking, you’ll never laugh at anything again. I mean really laugh, nope, never again.

3. Pot affects your smell. Now instead of smelling like delicious weed, you’ll smell like stale milk or old crotch.

4. Pot affects your driving ability. Once you quit, you’ll be such a miserable bitch, other people die and you don’t care. What do you have to live for now anyway? Nothing.

**rolls a joint. Lights it.

5. And the final thing I learned when I quit smoking weed? Uhh, don’t quit smoking weed, just don’t.

PS not smoking it made me fat.

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72 thoughts on “Five Things I Learned When I Quit Smoking Marijuana

  1. I couldn’t smoke it if I wanted to. I’m allergic to the smoke. Decades ago when a family of friends lit up, I passed on sharing a joint and sat there as the smoke filled the room.

    My eyes swelled shut.
    My throat swelled shut.
    And I couldn’t breathe.
    I left the room to the cold, fresh air outside and it all cleared up.

    In addition, humans were not designed to breathe smoke of any kind.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. It must be the laughing that keeps the pounds off that the munchies ought to cause. Truth to tell, I haven’t indulged in a very long time, largely due to circumstance, and never was very regular about it. But, I remember enough to get a good laugh out of this.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I tried this for the first time a couple of years ago. I took three joints before I gave up saying ‘I wasn’t getting high! Couldn’t stop eating after though. Not sure what kind of high I expected…but I was very disappointed. Except for the eating part…I have a very poor appetite so that was a plus.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The effectiveness of cannabis on medical conditions is strain dependent. Not everyone reacts to the same strains in the same way. I have favourites that were highly effective at treating my glaucoma. There were a few strains that seemed to have the opposite effect to what I desired.

      Finding the perfect strain can involve a lot of trial and error.

      On the other hand, CBD oils extracted from low THC varieties that present almost zero psychotropic effects are being used to treat all sorts these days – with success. But again, not every person gets to reap the benefits because conclusive research is still quite sketchy.

      The good thing is, it’s highly doubtful trialing different strains of cannabis and varieties of hemp, as well as different THC:CBD ratios will not kill you.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Thank you for the information that’s very interesting, rules have been relaxed in the UK so I may look into this, but psychosis is a worry when epilepsy is a lol brain wiring deficiency. πŸ™‚ Something to think about tho.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Have a look at CBD oils if your are concerned about psychosis. Since CBD extracts contain trace amounts of the psychoactive components you won’t get stoned and your brain function should remain normal.

        I currently have ‘LoveCBD’ and ‘CBD Brothers’ extracts in my medicine cabinet that I used to treat an incapacitating case of peripheral neuropathy. It was 100% effective with helping get me back on my feet. This is legally available in the UK. Other vendors are out there.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Ugggghhhh, I was the best. pothead. evar. The best. What a wonderful four months. Then I tried edibles and it kicked open some “crazy doors.” If you are unfamiliar with this sophisticated medical term, it means when you have a mother, father, and sibling with schizophrenia, and you somehow magically dodged that genetic bullet, but you expose your brain to pretty much any kind of drug, your brain goes ” Guess what’s behind door number 3!” Oh, fuck, its crazy! Close the door, CLOSE THE DOOR!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I don’t know how several [broke] people afford weed, especially those who live paycheck to paycheck and can barely afford rent. Luckily, I don’t live this way but at the time I don’t invest in such luxuries such as weed and booze. Like once in a blue moon maybe. Never cared for the smell of weed personally, but then again I don’t smoke the stuff. Can’t say I haven’t tried it, but then again I didn’t pay for it. #brokecollegestudent

    Liked by 1 person

    • When poor people have their priorities in check, they will never run out of weed. They might run out of toilet paper, toothpaste or things for breakfast before running out of weed. But a pothead usually knows a pothead and saving each other is a prerequisite to the relationship. A good customer can always get an amount on HP/Finance from their trusty street pharmacist.

      Personally, I loved getting other people high when I was growing it. I wanted to impress my friends and associates with the grade so whatever they were willing to buy I would double it up for free. I’m just that kinda person though.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Thank you for your insight and thorough response. Its amazing what people do to satisfy their addiction, er… cravings. I know a girl who started growing her own weed because its legal in her state and she was too poor to purchase weed. It got so bad that she was posting Facebook updates asking her friends if they has any weed they were willing to give her for free. She was desperate.

        I also remember my cousin asking her landlord if he had any weed. She says he “just looked like the type who would smoke it.”

        Like

      • Haha Hilary, to a stoner those lengths are quite normal. Some of us (I mean them) will turn the house upside down looking for a joint, but to the rest of the world these actions remain a secret.. And the elation that is felt when a joint or is finally found, it’s like a christmas and a birthday rolled up in the sheets when taking that first inhale.

        I don’t want anything controlling me like that ever again.

        Like

  6. Started when I was 12. By the time I was 15 the only thing I looked forward to at school was lunchtime and getting baked with friends. Quit for about 4-5 months at age 16 for exams. Started again straight after final exam. Smoked throughout college. Smoked at work, before work, and definitely after work. Wouldn’t do any activity unless a joint was involved. Started growing it in my 20s. Worked my way up to having an endless supply of top shelf nugz and I totally abused it. I was never sober. In 2010 for the first time in ages I stopped for around 34 days. I started again on boxing day night at a gig I DJ’d at. Carried on until October last year. Stopped for 185 days – my longest break yet. I had a rude awakening when I eventually sobered up. Started again for 3 months and it was an unpleasant experience to be honest. I’ve been stopped since about August 7th 2017.

    I still think about getting high at least 3 times a week which is far less than chain smoking reefers. I don’t think I will breathe smoke into my lungs ever again because I’ve found that I like and appreciate unrestricted breathing. I also like the clarity that comes with not being fogged up. I like dreaming, something I have had little experience of in my adult life. I like being able to face my depression, anxieties, fears and aspects of my life I ignored, swept under a rug, or buried.

    I’ve had to forgive myself for the ways in which I’ve handled and failed to handle past situations. Gee, I’ve had to do a lot of work on my ‘self’ post exiting the haze.

    I appreciate cannabis affects people differently. I’m not anti cannabis. I think it should be available worldwide. I also think more studies should be done and the results should be available to everyone. I have a stack of theories about the green bitch and how best to use her, or get the benefits without potential negative side effects.

    I may even jot down a book on my personal experiences.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Goddamn, I’ve missed you!!!!

    I don’t have to tell you I loved every single thing about this. Had I read the comments first I would have personally bet my fat ass that this was about heroin or meth.

    Off to sell my soul to Satan for an herb that is addictive (NOT) but will no doubt control my every waking moment.

    Stay blazin, pretty lady! XO

    Liked by 1 person

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