Why It’s Your Fault Your Child Is Being Bullied

Its Your Fault Hes Being BulliedI had a friend, she was super weird. She had a son, he was super weird too. His weirdness wasn’t his fault, it was hers.

He had a very strong personality and she gave in far too often. Some of the stuff she gave in on was ridiculous.

If he didn’t want to walk, well she just put him in a stroller.

If he wanted to wear a superman costume to the mall in July, well she just let him. (No, this is not the worst thing on earth.)

If he wanted to suck on a soother, she kept a supply in her purse.

If he wanted candy for dinner, candy it is.

She took baths with him.

They “co-slept”.

All this is fine when your kid is three. The kid was six. His school friends would see him in the mall, wearing a superman costume, in a stroller and sucking a soother.

Kids are already going to be bullied, don’t make it worse by allowing your kid to stay a baby. She was a dismal failure as a mother.

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59 thoughts on “Why It’s Your Fault Your Child Is Being Bullied

  1. It’s crazy how many families operate this way these days! It feels like the ones with rules and reasonable boundaries are the rare ones these days. Nice post!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you! I’ve been saying this for years! I’m a 70s baby. I got bullied because my head was too big for my neck ( weird growing phase).
      In 7th grade we were all throwing papers I just happened to be the one that hit the teacher. He threatened to give everyone ZERO if the culprit didn’t show up. I was threatening by my classmates that if I didn’t tell him they would throw stones at me.

      I went home crying to my parents. My mom said “to every action there is a reaction, and you have to be responsible for Both”

      The next day my dad brought in my helmet and said “have a great day at school”

      With that I learned my responsibility and I believe that is one of the greatest lessons I take from my childhood and.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. But what about being inclusive and accepting of everyone?!? Where is your compassion for this poor kid?!?

    OK, so that’s out.

    Look, it’s hard work being a parent. But you HAVE to do it. You can’t let the inmates run the asylum. And being a parent means saying no and having to back it up. I see too many parents who want to be friends with the kiddos first.

    I love my daughter and I am working to bring her up in properly. And sometimes that means being a parent. Which, again, is hard.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s kinda hard to gauge one’s success as a parent till the kids hit forty and crawl out from under the identity we imposed upon them. My philosophy has always been to treat them a bit like society will but with the guidance to understand things.The worst thing for a child as far as security goes has to be the knowledge that they themselves are in charge because who the hell is gonna protect them. You can raise a child with a stronger will than your own but they better never bloody discover that to be the case. My pet peeve is parents who deliberately keep their kids dependent. Job one is to give them the tools to be independent productive happy members of society regardless of our own issues.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Man. Short and TO THE POINT and real as hell. Kids these days are over privelaged and under-disciplined. Parents are too tired or too rushed to ensure that the children don’t become the parents. They’re running our lives and it has to stop! Love this post. And you should never get in trouble for speaking your mind. Xo

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh my God. I have way too much to say to this that I can’t even post it in a comment! I know a mother that was frighteningly this way, and some of the stories that I can tell that go far beyond how bad some of these things are, they would make your hair stand on end. And I am a mother of two. Not a traditional mother by any means … but a certain balance is necessary. Though this post makes me want to start jotting a list of some of the memories that I have involving this woman and gradually post them on your comments!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. “If he wanted to wear a superman costume to the mall in July, well she just let him.” – Well this just seems so cool…. but I’m bias cause I like to cosplay at conventions. I do feel for the kid though, being bullied is no fun.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I don’t think it’s the parents’ fault if a kid is bullied, but I do believe it’s the parents’ fault if the kid allows it. I stutter which was like painting a target on my chest in junior high (middle school to you young’uns), but I didn’t run away crying. I stood my ground and made some big friends along the way. Nothing like having a 6-foot 13 year old for a friend.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. do you know why i like this post. because it is real, and it is something nobody likes to say! It is simple and well said. in fact i am going to share it too, because some people really need to hear the truth! This is ever so common. Parents are confused why, i was bullied, BUT my parents worked full time and overtime so i hardly saw them. I just lacked confidence.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I think I would have take the opportunity to show my kids that not all adults/parents think or operate their lives the way we/I do but it’s not a reason to make fun of and/or bully someone. With all of that being said I see your point. 100%!! I would just have to do what I know to be right first.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. The costume thing isn’t a big deal. I have a strong willed child & I let her have authority over her clothes. She is 3 though & sometimes chooses to wear her pikachu costume. I’m cool with it, I want her to have her own ‘style’. The pacifier, i put my foot down on that one & it was gone a year ago. & pft, i hated lugging a stroller. That got ditched as soon as she could walk. Build them muscles! 😂 As far as calling her a failure, I don’t like that, I feel like it’s mom-shaming. Some just don’t know how to be authorative an sadly that’s why the world is crashing & burning because mom’s don’t know how to he mom’s and not BFFs & they raise the most entitled little brats. But as for me & my household, we will have rules & boundaries.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I completely agree with you–with one exception. I have a child with Autism. She’s brilliant and she’s weird. It doesn’t matter what we say, or how many weird outfits we get rid of when she isn’t around. She finds something new to do to keep herself on the fringe. It gotten to the point that we were actually making her feel bad about herself by trying to help her fit in. We are definitely not permissive parents. It is exhausting at times. Lately, it has come down to the fact that she needs someone to love her despite her “weirdness.” That’s us. For some reason, she was born different. It can be mind-numbingly frustrating and at times, heartbreaking. But, we love her. Home is her safe place. I appreciate your post. I just wanted to speak up for the odd kids that will likely always be odd, even though they had good parents. Many of the greatest minds in history were odd, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Thank you for your honesty as always. Your posts are always so apt. This is my new site, coffeepoweredmummy.com, hopefully see you there soon and I will keep reading of course 😊X

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I know a woman who went above and beyond to ensure that her son never felt like he had to do without something. He got everything he wanted. Always. Without exception. Regardless of how much of a little monster he was to another kid who had something he wanted. She went as far as taking other kids toys because her son wanted it and would explain to the other kid’s parent that their child was being selfish by not sharing. I have dozens of insane stories like this, but won’t tell them here.

    He got kicked out of every school (pre-k through high school) he went to because of his entitled and bullying behavior. His mother just believed other people don’t understand him. He has no learning disability. He was just raised horribly.

    Today, her son is 38 years old and still lives with his mother. The only negative thing she has ever said about her son is that she can’t understand why he won’t go get a job, move out and start his life. She still has ZERO understanding that this is the child SHE created.

    Transformed Nonconformist

    Liked by 1 person

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