Parenting Groups Are For Stupid People

silhouette-1923656_1920 (1)Recently I found a Facebook group for parents and gleefully spent hours there until my sudden demise yesterday. They kicked me out?

Yep. Kicked out. No warning. No nothing. There wasn’t even a reason for it, they’re just mean.

Well, ok, if you’re going to name your daughter Mayhem, I’m going to tell you you’re stupid.

If you ask for unusual baby names, I’ll provide such ideas as Muddle, Jabberwocky, Beepityboopboop,

If you say you don’t know what to do when your kid is hungry or hot, I may say something sarcastic like “are you fucking stupid?”

Other gems:

My son got Lyme disease from a tick bite but I didn’t give him his antibiotics correctly, did I make it worse?

My kid hasn’t pooped in so long that he cries and passes out from the pain. Should I take him to the hospital?

I can’t wait until my son is two so I can pierce his ears.

My son is so pretty people think he’s a girl, so I dress him like one.

Can I eat pastrami while pregnant?

I have the itchiest vagina, any tips?

Pic of my son’s poop in the comments!!

When can I start giving my baby candy?

My sister told me to iron my baby clothes to kill the germs.

My personal favorite: if you breastfeed, you’re a slut. (Hey, that’s a six-word story!!)

I’m going to miss being part of the community, I think I was really helping.

male-642156_1920
Advertisements

210 thoughts on “Parenting Groups Are For Stupid People

  1. I don’t know how I missed your comment: Skinny And Single July 7, 2017 at 1:40 PM
    hi me again, I sent some new bloggers this way, I hope they come and introduce themselves.
    For now, here’s a new one of mine πŸ˜€
    https://skinnyandsingle.ca/2017/07/04/parenting-groups-are-for-stupid-people/

    BUT! I do know how I found it right now: I NEEDED A GOOD LAUGH! Honest to goodness! Stupidity is the trade mark of the human being. I am so glad we are not humans! We are angels from heaven there yonder! Hahaha! HalleluYah!

    Tell u what? I am not religious, but! I do have a relationship with our Father/Creator. He backs us up in this stupidity thing. Here is my take on it.
    http://www.thia-basilia.com/2017/08/18/questions-in-plain-words-do-you-believe-or-not-in-the-ever-existent-one-sole-creator-of-the-universe-and-all-there-in-including-the-devil-and-ourselves/.

    Thanks for the timely laugh.

    Like

  2. Pingback: Stupidity Is The Trade Mark Of The Human Being. I Am So Glad We Are Not Humans! We Are Angels From Heaven There Yonder! Hahaha! Halleluyah! | Success Inspirers World

  3. Pingback: Stupidity Is The Trade Mark Of The Human Being. I Am So Glad We Are Not Humans! We Are Angels From Heaven There Yonder! Hahaha! Halleluyah! – Not by my might but by His Might

  4. *giant eye roll*
    I’m a member of a similar group. I always shake my head in wonder every time I see a post come up about a child with a serious injury, and instead of heading straight to the hospital the mom is on the group asking for advice. *shakes head*

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is so funny. Maybe I should join these clubs so I can have a good laugh. Great post. I really liked… “My son got Lyme disease from a tick bite but I didn’t give him his antibiotics correctly, did I make it worse?” I know someone who suffers from Lyme disease so this one hit home for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’ve never regretted not having a child but if I ever had I would’ve regretted not knowing you before I had it so that I would know to name it Muddle. Most of these character-description names set such high expectations. I’ve always felt like I was just kind of muddling through life as best as I can, and I think many people do – so what a good name.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hahahaha! It’s amazing how stupid people can be sometimes, your best out of that group, it would be too easy to get into trouble with a response haha x
    #stayclassymama

    Liked by 1 person

  8. LMAO! Dying laughing right now. I don’t belong to any parenting groups, but I do have a friend who screenshots convos of the group she’s in so we can laugh about it together. The latest was “how do I give oral sex to my uncircumcised boyfriend?” I swear…on a parenting group. Best thread I’ve ever read through, I swear.

    Liked by 1 person

Yell at me here:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s