Parenting Groups Are For Stupid People

silhouette-1923656_1920 (1)Recently I found a Facebook group for parents and gleefully spent hours there until my sudden demise yesterday. They kicked me out?

Yep. Kicked out. No warning. No nothing. There wasn’t even a reason for it, they’re just mean.

Well, ok, if you’re going to name your daughter Mayhem, I’m going to tell you you’re stupid.

If you ask for unusual baby names, I’ll provide such ideas as Muddle, Jabberwocky, Beepityboopboop,

If you say you don’t know what to do when your kid is hungry or hot, I may say something sarcastic like “are you fucking stupid?”

Other gems:

My son got Lyme disease from a tick bite but I didn’t give him his antibiotics correctly, did I make it worse?

My kid hasn’t pooped in so long that he cries and passes out from the pain. Should I take him to the hospital?

I can’t wait until my son is two so I can pierce his ears.

My son is so pretty people think he’s a girl, so I dress him like one.

Can I eat pastrami while pregnant?

I have the itchiest vagina, any tips?

Pic of my son’s poop in the comments!!

When can I start giving my baby candy?

My sister told me to iron my baby clothes to kill the germs.

My personal favorite: if you breastfeed, you’re a slut. (Hey, that’s a six-word story!!)

I’m going to miss being part of the community, I think I was really helping.

male-642156_1920
Burnished Chaos

 

Advertisements

234 thoughts on “Parenting Groups Are For Stupid People

Yell at me here:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s