Seven Reasons I’m Sleeping With Your Husband

seven-reasons-im-sleeping-with-your-husband1. You forgot him. You forgot all the cute notes he used to leave you. You forgot the reasons you fell in love with him. You forgot him and I gave him a blowjob.

2. You stopped making him laugh. You don’t tell him the silly thing that happened at the store, you don’t tell him about your goofy antics. You just stopped but I gave him a blowjob.

3. You don’t ask about him. You don’t ask about his silly antics, you don’t engage in any conversation at all. You just don’t ask but I gave him a blowjob.

4. You put your children first. You give them all your time, your affection and your love. You are so busy with them that he has become secondary. Why isn’t HE first, how did you get these kids again? The guy just wants a blowjob.

5. You effin let yourself go. Really, change the stained shirt and track pants. Throw them away. Brush your hair and make an effort to look as pretty as you were when he fell in love with you. I look fantastic while giving him a blowjob.

6. He bought you the pajamas as a joke, you weren’t meant to wear them night and day. Take them off and maybe wash them. Ok, really, just give the man a blowjob.

7. You stopped ripping his clothes off. You stopped touching him. You stopped the blowjobs, I started them up again, he loves me.

Now that you all hate my guts. I’m not sleeping with your husband, are you?

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181 thoughts on “Seven Reasons I’m Sleeping With Your Husband

  1. This post could be switched for “7 reasons why I’m sleeping with your wife” except for the blow job.

    Experienced Lotharios who seduce other men’s wives are experts at driving those wives mad with orgasmic pleasure.

    You see, Lotharios know that another man’s neglected wife is safer to seduce then a single woman who might shoot the Lothario or cut his thing off when she waked up and realizes he doesn’t really love her. He only wanted to seduce her and then move on to the next conquest.

    Neglected, unhappy wives that don’t want to lose their lavish lifestyle, if they have a lavish lifestyle. All they want is the attention and sex, and then they go home to the guy who is guzzling his third beer as we watches another football, baseball, or basketball game and ignores her, the husband who works overtime to keep up with the wife’s credit card payments. All those charges that paid for the hot, sweaty nights out with the Lothario who seldom if every pays for anything but flowers and jeweler as gifts for his favorite cheating other men’s wives.

    Have you ever seen the younger, hot, sexy wife with an athletic body, and her much older husband is an out of shape executive scowling type who wears a cotton-candy pinkish yellow wig – someone we see satirized on Saturday Night Live? The odds favor, that younger wife has an athletic looking Lothario on the side who dresses sharp and gives her the physical attention she craves. This of course might explain why that wife wants to live in the New York penthouse while the older obviously unhealthy, out of shape, lying husband, who treats her like she’s a piece of furniture, is spending most of his time in Washington DC and/or on a golf course.

    Liked by 3 people

      • I love how so many responses to your post are “ya but you” posts… as in “But guys do it too, so I don’t have to feel bad”. Jesus people… just take it for what it is worth. And Most women aren’t cheating because the husband is not having sex with them. That is the general cry and lament of men, women are missing something in their relationship… generally. Nonetheless, It always tickles me to see posts like this elicit defensive “BUT WE ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES WHO DO THAT” responses. So ridiculous. Just pay attention and take in the message… stop being defensive and deflecting. Great post!

        Liked by 2 people

  2. LMFAO! I just feel like this post should trend, with #igavehimablowjob. I love you for this post. If the haters in their stained pajamas show up to protest you, I’ve got your back….but only after I’m done…. giving him a blow job. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You’ve hit on something I’ve been thinking about since xmas, reasons why relationships break down! I stayed over xmas with my brother and found the atmosphere a little upsetting, my sister-in-law hasn’t let herself go, she dotes on her sons, yet the way she speaks to my brother is appalling, she’ll critised him, pick fault, glare and seems to be always cleverly trying to get an argument started, basically she doesn’t seem to like him. If someone asked me, I’d say their marriage looks in trouble all very upsetting, and I’m being very honest here, I wonder are marriages supposed to be like this or am I over sensitive.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Gosh yeah I remember what hubby told me over the holidays when after a few days of being in the house and actually had the time to speak with each other, all I did was berate him endlessly. He then said, “I guess this is a rather long holiday.” Then I realised I was being too harsh. So I backed down! I don’t want another woman giving him a blowjob! Hahaha

    Liked by 3 people

  5. No yelling. Just saying. I married a cheater. I stayed with him anyway for 25 years. The woman he finally left me for left him. His next wife kicked him out after 6 months (she was 6 months pregnant.) It took him a few more years to find another wife. Interestingly, they don’t live together. I think she’ll be sorry. Sometimes it just is the man’s fault.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a joke or not. Either way, not funny at all. Maybe you should try finding your down man instead of taking someone’s left overs. There is never ever a good reason to sleep with someone’s husband unless you are extremely desperate for attention. Homewreckers are disgusting pieces of shit.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Unless you’re a home wrecker lol then you’re just a confident alpha female who took advantage of an opportunity another woman didn’t cash in on. There’s two different ways to look at it.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Women and men alike need closeness, intimacy and yes, even sex.
      If a wife or husband isn’t willing to provide that for their significant other then they themselves are at fault for the relationship breaking.
      Hell, the wife should be happy he isn’t just kicking her ass to the side-walk for neglecting her husband but continues to provide for her.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Completely missed the point of the post did you? She is not advocating for cheating for christs sake. She is advocating (humorously) for women (and by extension, men) to look at themselves when examining their marriages and be sure that they are putting their all into their relationships.
      ….also to make sure that wives are giving blowjobs to their men. lol

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Yes, women are held to an incredibly higher standard when it comes to relationships and are expected to do things like “stick by our men” and while it isn’t ALWAYS the woman’s fault it sometimes is. This is coming from someone who was cheated on and it ended my first marriage. While my husband didn’t cheat with another woman, I don’t hate him and fully realize I didn’t give him what he needed in the most basic sense. It makes sense using this example because my ex husband is gay so of course I didn’t have what he needed. However, I do believe the same can happen in same sex relationships. If you are dating someone, you hold them to a standard and after awhile of not reaching that standard you end things or you take a break or you cheat. It makes sense. I personally think not cheating doesn’t make sense when you are not getting what you want in a relationship. People stay because they hope you will change but they now are implementing an insurance plan in case you don’t shape up.

    The way I see it is that
    I deserve the best. Yes my partner can have faults. Yes I will be that rock for them but if I decide I want more or better and they, after an extended period of time don’t rise to the occasion or say that they can’t and we separate then I can do what I want because it’s my life. People may not agree with that but it’s generally how people act on things. If you want men or women to be better you have to hold them to a high standard.

    I say this as a person who is in an open relationship.

    Sex has two parts to it in my opinion. The intimate part and the fun part. I am intimate with my husband but it isn’t always fun. However, I can have fun with my additional partner and it may not always be intimate. These things aren’t just black and white. Sometimes my husband and I are intimate and fun but it is psychologically possible to love two people at the same time. I do everyday and both of them know and I feel great and non sleazy and ironically they are both alpha males. I simply alpha femaled the hell out of them 😂😂Just kidding.

    I think the article is amazing because it makes people uncomfortable and reveals insecurities people need to address within themselves.

    I have sex with other people simply because I love sex. I’m not an addict. I just love it and it’s something that I want to experience with more than one person. lol although I think I am venturing on a whole new blog topic 😂

    I think we need to stop seeing all of this as so linear because this is exactly why people keep things in the dark. My relationships work because I am brutally honest.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. I guess I’m a rube. My wife and I had a glorious marriage of 42 years before she succumbed to illness. She was the only partner I had and I was hers. We worked our way through all kinds of ups and downs yet remained faithful to each other.

    She may not have acted out my biggest fantasies nor I hers, but we ended up in each other’s loving arms each and every night. I pity the shallow ones who can’t see beyond the love of two people.

    Skinny has always had a steady cynical view of love. That’s her right. If you agree with her then that’s yours. I can look back on our life as one of love.And can only regret there are not more years to share.

    Liked by 3 people

    • I love your loving relationship, but nothing you have said counters the original post. She is saying that people need affection, touch and to feel desired. She isn’t saying that sex is all there is, or that it is the only reason that people split. She is just saying “take care of business, because if you don’t, often someone else will”. And that is not shallow. People can only it take so long feeling undesirable, and living with a lack of intimacy. Sounds like that wasn’t an issue with you, and that is fantastic. But don’t call people shallow for needing those things. It is human nature and not cynical at all.

      Like

  9. 7 reasons u r sleeping with her husband:

    1. You have lost your dignity, somewhere along the way.

    2. You stopped respecting yourself, or anybody out there.

    3. You don’t care about what type of trauma you may cause to that man’s childen or to that woman. You forgot about Karma also..

    4. You don’t have a man of your own, because you can’t show someone they can trust you since you are actually able to wake up, have breakfast and write this article and even publish it for people like u to like it.

    5. Nobody buys you pijamas, so you need to destoy’s someone’s home and spread virtues and wisdom like unfaithfulness and back stabbing and how to justify it.

    6. You forget about how to keep your clothes on. Since it is too hot, the whole year long of course.

    7. You are a slut.

    Liked by 1 person

    • U r so pitiful, and a dumb, ugly hoe too. Very ugly. If all ur self validation is to give blow jobs to random men, that is a reason enough to go kill urslef, today (these were the words of my boyfriend actually, he really things u look like shit, inside out, btw). And for my comment, I don’t care if this post was supposed to be funny or supposed to make women pay more attention to their husband, the audacity to actually write it that like that in that form, with that type of pride of a slut, makes me wanna throw up. I have no problem being the most hateful person on Planet earth towards low shit like this, this base humor…And towards people like u. U DISGUSTING, by the way u are, ur humor, ur mentality, the way u speak, the way u wanna convey some “positive” message with that type of slutty cheap corny post. And to all them low lives out there that support her in her misery, go kill urselves too, today. Collective suicide biatches.

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      • Hi Miriem, you clearly didn’t read the whole post to the end or are not very much in command of English. Have you ever seen Laura inside-out to say she/he isn’t pretty that way? Maybe she’s a he, would he be a slut? Sounds to me you may either be a slut or your judgmental BF is consistently being teased by “sluts” you can’t compete with and you cant handle it. Suicide is a great idea to promote, i applaud you for recognizing it as an option, except it’s not that kinda disease, look within before it not too late.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Wow, how disgusting are you? SLut shaming another woman for highlighting a man’s need for physical intimacy and to be desired. DId you even read the post? At the end she says “I’M NOT sleeping with your husband… are you??”. SLut shaming causes so much harm in young women all over the world, and to hear a woman doing it to another is disgusting and says more about you than her. “Go kill yourself” ??? What an awful human being you are to suggest such a thing, merely for a difference of opinion. Filthy, gross, mean spirited and sad.
        I am sure that (not actually sure given your desperately poor command over the english language) you can express yourself in a less hateful and more constructive and intelligent way. But then again… maybe not. I pity your bf having to live with such a hateful nasty woman.

        Liked by 2 people

  10. Oh my! I haven’t seen this level of mean comments on WP before. Geez people.
    You come up with a witty way to remind people to love and pay attention to their husbands and they go off. Lol
    I thought it was a great post!☺

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Unfortunately, the internet gives voice to every scum who can turn on a PC. “Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something” Plato. Please, if u don’t kill yourself, pick up a book or something. Ughh.

    Like

  12. Ok, but why don’t you get the guy to break it off with her first. It’s seriously cruel to drag that out. Yes there’s no love but for goodness sake that man should atleast have enough respect for his baby’s mama to break it up before he cheats. Fucked up.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Definitely not written by a woman who’s been married & had kids! How do I know? Because I’ve been on both sides, the understanding mistress & the wife who he left for the next (3rd Mrs…..). It’s a selfish man who only thinks the World revolves around him & is jealous of the children who take their mother’s time away from their father. The man who can’t be bothered to help, so he can free some of his wife’s time up, so they can spend some quality time together. The man who rather than getting a babysitter & telling his wife to go put something pretty on this evening, because he’s going to take his gorgeous wife out!
    No! He’d rather go out and complain that his wife doesn’t understand him. And all she does is exactly as previously stated! It’s bullshit! He’s lying to you & you’re falling for his crap, just like I did! He’s called a “Serial Cheat!”

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Love the truthfulness and raw honesty of this post. The haters are going to sling mud, let them. Seriously, isn’t mud some sort of exfoliate ? I’ve been on both sides of this, i’ve been the cheated and the other woman. I’m not going to be bitter because the man i was with chose something else…….and I’m not blaming the other woman. We all make choices, good or bad. It comes down to ARE OWN choices. *and blow jobs* hahahah

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Came across this post on pinterest. It caught my eye. It’s so true!! I DID give him a blow job, listened to him, looked pretty for him, laughed with him and he ended up leaving her to be with me. He really did love her but she took his love for granted….she took him for granted. He told her for years things needed to change. She ignored him, thinking he would never leave. She was wrong. You can only be ignored and feel invisible and unloved for so long. Life is so short…never take anything for granted. That was 3 years ago and still not a day goes by that we don’t treat each other with love and respect. We both know how rare it is to find love and that you should never forget to give it the respect it deserves. Peace out! ✌

    Liked by 1 person

  16. While your giving my husband or others a blow job, I’ve lost 25 lbs, had a complete make over, saw my two children graduate with honors, finished my degree that I put aside (for the man your blowing and probably swallowing) as I self sacrificed at which I now know I shouldn’t have done, but I want to thank you as I walk into my home I threw him out of, and look at my bank account with direct deposit of the 50% I get of everything he makes and all because of your blow job. Sucks harder next time, he’s probably getting low.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh that’s awesome!! Glad you could finally put yourself together, we were worried you wouldn’t make it. Did you manage to get yourself a shower, because, yaaaa you couldn’t be bothered back then.

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  17. Interesting post. Both men and woman should keep seducing each other throughout their whole marriage. Neither party should take the other for granted. But, ick, I cannot tolerate cheaters…once a cheat, always a cheat! I’m not after anyone’s sloppy seconds…LOL.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. So I saw this earlier and laughed out loud. I read it to my husband tonight who is the funniest person I know. His response…’Someone…well, some man, needs to go in there and comment….Did someone say blowjob?’
    I don’t know he makes me laugh. 😉

    In my opinion…this is a great reminder to ALL committed people that it’s important to stay plugged in and attentive to your partner. It was written in a hilarious way….well done…but in all actuality it’s great advice for everyone. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  19. So, how are you? What have you 

    been doing?

    “Yes?”

    “Yes!”

    “Yes!”

    *This was her

    “It has been brought to my attention and to my surprise, how I wished she would sleep with other men.” He give his girlfriend some of his friend’s names.

    Haha! 

    *When it was decided that I would write this, I felt scared.

    Like

  20. I mean, it’s a choice. As a happily-married woman (who happens to also be a stay at home mom), I have a choice to make every day when I wake up. Do I want to make the most out of my life? I, for one, do. I put a little effort into my marriage and dating my husband, and I put a little effort into my appearance as well. I am proud of the way I look when I go out in public, and I want my kids and husband to be proud of me too. Ultimately, though, I do it for myself. Because I am a hell of a good wife. And I’m a damn good mother. But that’s because I choose to put the effort into those aspects of my life. To each their own, but it’s totally possible to let yourself go, and when you stop caring, don’t act all surprised when he does too.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. LMAO Ooh girl! I wish I had the nerve to be so bold! Fucking brilliant! And I can see in the FB group where you have completely pissed a lot of women off! This summer will mark 15 years of marriage for me and while the message is blunt, a little affection goes a long way! Kudos from a new subscriber! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I find number 5 is unreasonable and offensive to any woman with small children or who have children with special needs. I’m a mom who has both. It doesn’t matter how many times I change my clothes, the kids are going to get me filthy. And having a post-partum body is not,” letting yourself go.” While I completely agree that a spouse should not neglect their partner spouse, I found this particular example tasteless and heartless.

    Liked by 2 people

  23. This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever read. Written by a girl not a woman. I don’t hate anyone. Just ignorance. Marriage is more than blowjobs, but yes I give them to my husband. A LOT. Blows his mind among other things.

    Liked by 1 person

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