Seven Reasons I’m Sleeping With Your Husband

seven-reasons-im-sleeping-with-your-husband1. You forgot him. You forgot all the cute notes he used to leave you. You forgot the reasons you fell in love with him. You forgot him and I gave him a blowjob.

2. You stopped making him laugh. You don’t tell him the silly thing that happened at the store, you don’t tell him about your goofy antics. You just stopped but I gave him a blowjob.

3. You don’t ask about him. You don’t ask about his silly antics, you don’t engage in any conversation at all. You just don’t ask but I gave him a blowjob.

4. You put your children first. You give them all your time, your affection and your love. You are so busy with them that he has become secondary. Why isn’t HE first, how did you get these kids again? The guy just wants a blowjob.

5. You effin let yourself go. Really, change the stained shirt and track pants. Throw them away. Brush your hair and make an effort to look as pretty as you were when he fell in love with you. I look fantastic while giving him a blowjob.

6. He bought you the pajamas as a joke, you weren’t meant to wear them night and day. Take them off and maybe wash them. Ok, really, just give the man a blowjob.

7. You stopped ripping his clothes off. You stopped touching him. You stopped the blowjobs, I started them up again, he loves me.

Now that you all hate my guts. I’m not sleeping with your husband, are you?

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181 thoughts on “Seven Reasons I’m Sleeping With Your Husband

  1. Great article. The “Seven Reasons I’m Sleeping With Your Husband” might just come down to lack of communication. My wife and I think that the only way to keep our marriage exciting is to go through our midlife crisis together. Spice things up and communicate. Role play. Keep a date night once a week where the whole purpose is to get excited about each other. Go on wild steamy vacations:.).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well…. this article lacks any intelligence whatsoever and completely disregards the reason why a women who is probably completing the daily tasks of
    4 people may not quite feel like giving her man a blow job. I’m in a long term relationship and don’t have any children. Most women have the daily struggles of replacing their man’s mother (which they would never admit to) picking up all there shit. Cleaning up after them. Thinking about what they’re going to eat. Doing any planning which is required over the next few months, I could go on…. this isn’t the case for everyone. I can only speak on my own previous experience and from the words of many friends. And this is all without children in the mix. I can’t imagine my first thought after a long day dealing with tantrums, cleaning up after people and feeding everyone is. Mmm I really must give my give my man who’s done fuck all all day a blow job. Just a thought! Perhaps some of the superwomen/mums out there who are fucking exhausted have got more things on their mind. And much more when a home wrecker without a care in the world worms her way in with her blow job eyes. I would like to see her doing the same when one day she’s in the position of some of these women. Who by the way just.want.to.wear.their.comfy.fucking.PJ’S. Trust her man and not worry about sluts coming out the gutter. #sorrynotsorry

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