Coping With A Lost Spouse

Coping With A Lost SpouseFirstly, I’m sorry you lost your spouse. I hope you’re doing ok.

With the relationship ending suddenly, you likely didn’t come to hate them as you may have had they lived. Think about it, another thirty years with that person? Ya ya, sounds wonderful to me too. Since you were once loved so well, and you’re so young, you’re likely to start dating again. That must be extremely difficult. Kudos.

So look at you go, all dating again, love that. I always wondered how a new person would feel about any mementos from a past spouse. There is absolutely no reason for them to be jealous because there is no threat to them. It only shows how much love you are capable of; I think a strong person would welcome that.

Take down the shrine, throw away their teeth and donate clothes to charity, sure. Sacred photos that include your children should be no threat whatsoever to someone who loves you.

What do you think you should be allowed to keep in this situation?

PS My grandmother took a date to granddad’s funeral. Never too soon people, never too soon.



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28 thoughts on “Coping With A Lost Spouse

  1. Hmmmm – I haven’t had that experience – divorce, check – other type breakup, check, check, check, check — mementos on display? not, well, OK, one, but its a lamp with no obvious story. But, sudden death of spouse, no, and not an experience I envy. Still, you do have a knack for seeing the lighter side of things (thinking of that song from “Life of Brian’). Enjoying your writing as usual.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My sister was widowed at 30, her husband had a heart attack at work. They had a 7 year old son and 11 year old daughter. She later went back to college and got an HR degree in human resources and went on one vacation with a girlfriend. Two or three bad dating relationships later, she stayed single until some years back, she married a former high school classmate. She is going to be 66 next week. ☺. Her husband passed in 1980. She kept out 👪 pictures and I agree, there is no jealousy, the person who passed on is gone. 😔

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I rarely ever mention this online, but I am a widow. I don’t have a lot of sweet, happy memories from being married except that he gave me a beautiful daughter and they were very close. I have yet to figure out what dating looks like after this, though I’m told I’m overdue to find out. Depending on the state of the relationship when it ended, healing time can be different for everyone. Or that’s an excuse 🙂

    I love the line about your grandma. Way to embrace life, every damned minute of it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. She took a date? Way to go grandma. I could never date a widower. Always comparing you to the dead wife. It’s enough when you date a divorced guy they compare you to the bitch who tossed them to the curb. Fuck no, but thank you anyway.

    Liked by 2 people

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