How To Deal With A Child Molester

How to deal with a child molester (2)Firstly, I pray to God you didn’t google this because you are dealing with a child molester. Shoot them in the head, sorry, no sympathy, buh-bye. If you’ll shoot someone for your truck, you’d damned well better shoot them for your child.

My actual point is how to deal with a child molester before there IS a child molester.

You have to teach your children how to trust themselves and their own judgement. Since you drop your kids off at various places and can’t watch them every minute, it’s important they are able to feel what their body is telling them. Every single person can recognize that something is wrong, regardless of their age and they need to be taught how to judge.

I used to ask my little five-year-old to find out the time. He would be forced to ask a stranger in the busy mall. I would watch him gauge all the people in the area and select the person he wanted to ask. Sometimes it was the grandma lady, maybe it was the man in the suit, and hooray and lucky me, it was the young, tattooed fella. He would gauge each one carefully and he learned to trust himself. I started to trust him too, he always made good choices.

Soon I had a ten-year-old. He went to a lot of activities by himself and now I have to trust he will tell ME when something is wrong. I’m not there watching, I only have his word.

Child molesters make sure children understand their parents don’t care for them. They make sure to enforce they are stronger than the parent. They go on to insist there would be trouble if the child said anything.

Make sure your young children understand you are strong enough to knock down any piece of shit, anyone hurting them, anyone! Say it before the child even knows why.

“Child, there is no one stronger than me. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Say it every single day.

Make sure by the time your child is six years old they know how to judge people and how to trust themselves. Most importantly, make sure they know if they screw up and make a mistake, you’re willing to bring the damned world down to protect them.

Will you do that for me, please?

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69 thoughts on “How To Deal With A Child Molester

  1. How to handle a child molester when theyvare your father? My father molested me and it escalated when my mother was going through surgery for her breast cancer. It wasn’t unil I was an adult that I found the courage to say something. From there I kept telling people and going to events, speaking publicly.

    When the police told me the statut of limitations ran out, I fought harder for justice. After testifying, he went to prison, served a handful of years and now will have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life!

    More parents need to do what you are doing. My mom did the same, but never expected the person you trust to cause such harm.

    Yay, for parents who empower their children and teach them about people.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for writing this blog. When I was six, I was sexually fondled and manhandled by my next-door neighbor man. He had teen age daughters that my 18year old sister hung around with and listened to ๐ŸŽถ music with. His wife was divorcing him, and he was a bit off in the head. He walked all over the yard and to the mail box in his robe. Robe wide open, no underwear.!!He played naked by the railroad tracks beating off.. Sick bastard. I was six. I took Hustler and Playboy mags into my Mom. She seemed to think that was just him “being upset “because his wife was leaving him. We saw him stand naked in his garage door way, day after day. It was 1968, “hush hush.. Don’t tell “the neighbors might talk!! I was enticed over to see his new lawn mower and was a child. Age six. He picked me up and fondled and manhandled me. I ran home and told my mother. She said to stay away from him. No kidding. She didn’t call the ๐Ÿšจ ๐Ÿ‘ฎ police because my Dad thought I made it up. My sister was married and moved away, brother in Vietnam. I was the “ooops “baby, hence the age difference in me and my brother and sister. I drew penisis on holiday cards for ๐Ÿ‘ช members. Immediate ๐Ÿ‘ช . They found it funny. Looking back, I know I was traumatized and reaching out the only way I knew how. Thank God when he tried fondling another womans three little girls uptown (he was remodeling a house for his daughter), she called the police. He did get a slap on the wrist and his name in the paper. It was a start at least! I still am grappling with this and in weekly counseling sessions for this as well as BPD and PTSD therapy. My daughter is 26 years old. She is aware I always would have and would today take a ๐Ÿ”ซ and a bullet and also kick anyone’s ass that touched a hair on her head. This was not handled correctly. My mother is 91 and still won’t “own it “, that it should have been addressed by the authority in town. Now, kids can tell a teacher or relative or go online and report it. I was six. Six. It sickens me. I know the bastard fell off a roof he was redoing a few years back in his 70s. R. I. P. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ George. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ. You are going to need it. I can forgive ignorance. I do not forget. Please parents, talk to your kids. Have the courage to do the “right “thing. This is your CHILD!! ๐Ÿ‘ฆ ๐Ÿ‘ง ๐Ÿ‘ถ. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

      • Fuck all the Georges, they should all fall off a roof and land on a pitchfork! This story is so horrifically common. . .you are not alone, you are beautiful, I’m sorry you suffer, thank you for giving your daughter what you didn’t get, I hope you find some peace in the fact that you are a better parent than you had!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you. Fuck George. I am glad George met his demise falling off a roof. Bastard. Yes.. “Mommy” is 91, feels she did nothing wrong in this situation. I help her out with errands as chores as a “loving daughter “, but I won’t forget. Ever. My daughter knows my stance. I would kick anyone’s ass for my daughter. Or if I saw it with anyone else’s child. Thank you. ๐Ÿ˜”

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    • There is a 100% recidivism rate for child molesters. I agree with your “don’t feed the perverts” point of view. And I like the way you taught your son how to trust his instincts –whether it’s with family members or with strangers. You were close enough for protection. Wish I’d been taught that instead of being fed cliche’s like “There’s a silver lining behind every cloud” and a total bypass of the realities of life. It sucks to learn the hard way.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I thought your idea was excellent — to nurture intuition in your children so they don’t fall prey to the perverts. I was very forthcoming with my kids and they were aware from the beginning that there are bad people in the world. They had their code words, too, so that if someone pretended to be a police man and didn’t know the word they were to run to a safe place.

        Liked by 1 person

      • In the US, there are signs that tell you if a business is place kids can go to for safety.

        My daughter’s motto used to be “I do it my own ‘elf.” (she couldn’t say “s” when she was very young). She had a volcanic temper and didn’t learn by watching others. She had to make the mistakes herself.

        My kids and I were in a giant mall when she threw a tantrum. She was around 6 at the time and wanted to go where she wanted to go, not where I was headed. She refused to walk with us so I said, “Fine, we’re going anyway.” Usually, she’d be right behind us but when I looked a few seconds later, she was nowhere in sight. I found mall security and he said, “Kids will go to the last place they remember being with you.” He walked to my red Isuzu Trooper (very easy to spot in a lot full of tiny toyotas) and there she was, next to the door, silently crying. Until she was a teenager, she never left my side in a crowd again.

        She’s like her mother and has to learn the hard way. I feel fortunate that the lesson both of us learned that day wasn’t worse.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I really liked this post. It makes me feel kind of bad about not going further into stranger danger details with my kids. It is very important to trust themselves and listen to their gut instinct. Teaching them the importance of judging someone off a vibe is essential to life.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Absolutely. As a mother of two it’s always been number one priority growing up. Now they’re both in their teens and I like to think they both know what to look out for. They’ve learnt how to judge people and make good decisions. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have to comment on this, and please don’t take offence. I am dealing with a molester, my brother-in-law was molesting my nieces. The moment I found out, I went to the authorities and I am now raising one of the girls along with my children. As much as I would like to ‘shoot’ him, or cut off his anatomy, instead of going to jail, I am going to give my niece a great life and be there for her, and be a mother to all my children. Because the last thing children need is more drama. They need someone to take them in and love them in a safe environment. I speak with my children often about what to do, not only if someone tries to touch them, but how to handle people on social media and texts that cross the line. Maybe your article should be titled, how to prevent a pedophile attack. I’m sorry, but in reality, how to deal with a child molester is not by ‘shooting’ them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey, sounds like you are taking care of your niece and loving her, giving her the life she deserves. I will take it. I will love you. I will think you are amazing.

      I don’t care if you don’t want to shoot his balls off, its because you have a forgiving and understanding nature.

      Thank you for bringing this from Facebook. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  6. Great post, I agree with every word and even if I didn’t I commend you for talking about what people don’t want to talk about and doing it in your irreverent and refreshingly rational way! Giving you a standing ovation right now, okay so I’m in the market check out but same same.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. Fuck George. I am glad George met his demise falling off a roof. Bastard. Yes.. “Mommy” is 91, feels she did nothing wrong in this situation. I help her out with errands as chores as a “loving daughter “, but I won’t forget. Ever. My daughter knows my stance. I would kick anyone’s ass for my daughter. Or if I saw it with anyone else’s child. Thank you. ๐Ÿ˜”

      Liked by 1 person

      • I feel the same Jackie, I shamed a man in public once for looking at my then ten year old daughter in a way I did not appreciate, I also made a stink in line for a ride at Disneyland when a man kept “trailing” my son in a way that was suspicious. The people around me clapped when he left the line red faced. They then started to tell me they picked up on it too but didn’t say anything, but that seeing me do something will inspire them next time. Let me also say I’m not a confrontational person. I would never have done either if I didn’t know for sure they were up to no good. It’s a serious thing and I would hate to unjustly accuse but when it comes to my children bad people better back the fuck off!!

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  7. Great post child molester comes in every form and shape. Good practice for your son learning to follow his guts. As parents we are not always able to watch our child.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. In reality a majority of abusers would be Some one the child already knows: a family member or friend who has known the child and “groomed” them by asking them to keep bigger and bigger secrets. Many times an abuser is Some one the child and parents already know and trust.

    I think your pointers are fantastic for how to prevent children getting into trouble with strangers- but sadly- a child is much more likely to be raped or abused by someone they already know than a stranger.
    I will still be using the idea, though as it a good one to gauge the child’s sense of judgement.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I worked for four years as a play therapist for kids under 12 who had a history of trauma and/or abuse. Honestly, there is no “too” young to encourage kids to start learning to trust their instincts and understand good touch versus bad touch. One of the biggest disservices we do to our kids is to argue with them about whether they are hungry, thirsty, hurt, tired or whether they need to suck it up and take a kiss from great Aunt Tilly because it makes life easier for us. I have done it myself as a parent. Kids NEED their “spidey sense” as they negotiate the world without us an increasing amount of the time and they need to feel like they can rely on it because we have given them space to set limits with their body and trust that they know their bodies.

    Part of why rape culture continues in the United States is because we teach children, particularly girl children that it is more important to be “nice” than to be firm and decisive in exercising agency over their bodies and trusting their instincts. I will try NOT to get on a soapbox about this but I feel REALLY strongly about this and my first ever WordPress blog was about this subject. https://braveandrecklessblog.wordpress.com/2016/10/08/what-every-woman-knows/

    Thank you for broaching this difficult subject.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. My niece confided in me that her dad’s girlfriend’s son molested her when she was 11. The molester was 17 and living with my brother, skanky girlfriend, and my older nephew. This went on for a year. It was consensual. No one knew about it. She told me when was 18. She told me if I told her dad she would never speak to me again. Her mom died when she was six, and my brother is a drunk. My brother’s girlfriend is major white trash. My niece finally told her dad last year about the incident. Guess what he did? NOTHING! I’ve decided to cut my brother out of my life. He didn’t have the balls to say anything to his girlfriend. Instead he just told the girlfriend that his daughter didn’t like her son. A very effed up family. I live three hundred miles away, and felt so helpless. I often wondered why my niece was so hyper sexualized when she was a young teenager.

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  11. I agree about trusting your instincts. So many times I did not until it was too late. We are conditioned to be forgiviing, trusting, and to give people the benefit of the doubt. Don’t. If there is doubt, it’s there for a reason. Just because you can’t quite put your finger on the source of that doubt doesn’t make it unimportant. I was hurt many times before I learned to trust that voice in the back of my mind. It was a hard lesson. #StayClassyMama

    Liked by 1 person

  12. One of the best things I read was that friendly strangers don’t ask kids for help, they’d ask an adult. Sneaky strangers ask kids for help. Usually it’s someone you know, but we focus on the strangers just incase. I also believe it’s our role to be vigilant for all children, not just our own. I have got involved twice and once a guy was letting a girl ride his bike…away, in the dark, with him holding the bike. (The other time was actually a father dragging his yelling teenage daughter back to the house – when he started then yelling at me “You think I’m kidnapping her? You want her? You can have her!” and she started cracking up laughing, I knew I’d misread what I saw…(The yelling I realise now was yelling at him, not yelling for help but at the time you don’t hear it). But I still believe that it if ‘looks’ wrong (and you usually aren’t sure), question it. #Stayclassymama

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  13. You can’t hear me, but I’m clapping. I remember a convo I had with my son about child molesters and his response was “Mom, that only happens to girls, not boys.” The naivety blew my mind, but it opened up a dialog that was of the utmost importance. Thank you for posting this!!! #stayclassymama

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  14. This sounds like brilliant advice, my mother in law told me her attitude to her kids is….she will always have their back, even if they do wrong. to the world she will defend them to her death, if they are wrong, behind close doors she’ll tell them they were wrong but she will always be there for them so they dont have to fight it alone.
    So even when she knows they’ve done something stupid and caused their own mess, she will always be there to hold their hand even if noone else will.
    This is the power of a parents strength. With this, hopefully we can fight this and be one step closer to ending this, #stayclassymama

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I love this post, I have been wondering lately how and when to teach my 4yr old more about stranger danger, I already tell him to stay where I can see him, don’t go with strangers etc but I do worry how to expand that, especially teaching him about inappropriate touching. I have already decided he will not be attending sleepovers when he’s older until I know the parents/family well enough to feel safe with him doing so. Thanks for sharing this xx #stayclassymama

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  16. I talk to my son about private areas, about secrets about how his body is his own and make sure he knows that he can always tell me things. I will never be cross and always believe him. Its about raising your children to be brave, to believe in themselves, to share with you, be aware f risks but not be afraid of the world. Its a hard balance to find sometimes. Thank you for linking to #stayclassymama x

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  17. teaching your children to trust themselves and shout out is very important, as a mom, I have this thought of teaching children to be more confident and now what they have to do in such situations seems to be of paramount importance. Thanks for joining the Bloggers Pit Stop

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