Five Ways To Ensure He Wants More

Five Ways To Ensure He Wants More And MoreSince you have a big date coming up on Saturday, I thought we could spend a few minutes talking about ways to get ready. For starters;

1. Spend some quality time sourcing out the variety pack of condoms. There is nothing worse than showing up with the big one and being disappointed. (Disappointed because you didn’t have the right condom, not because of his small penis.) Who doesn’t love a small penis? My grandmother used to say he was “built for anal.”

2. Go get a Brazilian, you have been dying to do it since day one. All you have to do is spread your ass cheeks open, Saturday night is coming fast, you need to be ready.

3. You should pick up an anal bleaching kit, you can get store brand now! If you don’t, it’s a complete waste of step two. Besides, you know very well that the camera lighting is harsh.

4. I suggest doing something about the moustache unless he has mentioned that he’s into that, he’s not. Guys that are into moustaches are homosexuals, stop trying to date those guys.

5. Always get his name tattooed on your ass, guys love when you show that you’re ready for a total commitment. Plus it will look awesome when he posts that video online.

Now you’re ready to have sex with the man who is clearly the love of your life. I can truly feel the romance. Wait! I can truly see the video, girrrrl, I’m loving those heels, nice touch.

 

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41 thoughts on “Five Ways To Ensure He Wants More

  1. Ha ha ha ha ha ha… I 😍 this. You really had me laughing. Sadly, most men are so vain (roll credit for Carly Simon here), they DO want their name tattooed on your ass. Very vain indeed. It all stems back to the “econo” pack of condoms. πŸ˜‚… Thank you for the laugh. Break up was six months ago tonight. This was perfect. ☺

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ” Go get a Brazilian, you have been dying to . All you have to do is spread your ass cheeks open, Saturday night is coming fast, you need to be ready.” Hahaha ! I liked this because I am Brazilian-born and I think anyone Canadian woman would regret to get it…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ” Go get a Brazilian, you have been dying to . All you have to do is spread your ass cheeks open, Saturday night is coming fast, you need to be ready.” Hahaha !
    I liked this because I am Brazilian-born and I think anyone Canadian woman would regret to get it of course…

    Like

  4. I just love your writing style!!! You ARE hilarious and have inspired me to allow more of my real life smartass mouth to shine through!! With touchy subjects like MS I try to share my life without being too offensive and I’m not being true to my sarcastic IDGAF being. That will change thanks to you! And thanks for reaching out from Blogging Boost. I look forward to reading more of your post!! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Reblogged this on myldrwithafrenchman and commented:
    My new blogger friend is such a hoot. I couldn’t stop reading her posts, they just get better and better.
    I thought I was gonna learn a trick or two… yeah right! πŸ˜‰
    This one was just too much, I was in stitches… LMAO
    I can’t help but reblog.

    Liked by 1 person

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