How to use a toilet seat correctly:
Use the toilet, make sure it’s not covered in piss.
I don’t care where the seat is, and truly if you leave it down, I just think you were shitting just now. That’s sexy, my date was just shitting, I’m sitting here now, a few moments ago, he was shitting.
How to load toilet paper correctly:
Take it out of the package, leave it on the floor beside the toilet.
Sweet, there is toilet paper in the bathroom, that’s good enough for me. You have a man caring enough to make sure there is toilet paper for you, you shouldn’t complain about where he leaves it.
How to buy groceries correctly:
Go to the grocery store and try to remember that we need milk.
If you forget, I’ll go back myself, like I should have just done to begin with. I’m just a bitch you can’t please anyways. Like really, you can’t manage the toilet, I’m going to trust you to buy the yogurt I want? I’ll rip you a new one if you get me the wrong yogurt.
How to love a man correctly:
Don’t be so difficult that he tires of trying to please you. Buy your yogurt yourself if it’s so important to you. Load the toilet paper yourself if it’s so important to you. Put the seat down yourself, it’s not hard.
PS why is this stuff so important to you?