Toilet Seat Debate – Solved!!!

Toilet Seat Debate SolvedToo many people find small things to fret over that interfere with their happiness, I’ve outlined a couple of them for you. I hope it leads to harmonious living somewhere.

How to use a toilet seat correctly:

Use the toilet, make sure it’s not covered in piss.

I don’t care where the seat is, and truly if you leave it down, I just think you were shitting just now. That’s sexy, my date was just shitting, I’m sitting here now, a few moments ago, he was shitting.

How to load toilet paper correctly:

Take it out of the package, leave it on the floor beside the toilet.

Sweet, there is toilet paper in the bathroom, that’s good enough for me. You have a man caring enough to make sure there is toilet paper for you, you shouldn’t complain about where he leaves it.

How to buy groceries correctly:

Go to the grocery store and try to remember that we need milk.

If you forget, I’ll go back myself, like I should have just done to begin with. I’m just a bitch you can’t please anyways. Like really, you can’t manage the toilet, I’m going to trust you to buy the yogurt I want? I’ll rip you a new one if you get me the wrong yogurt.

How to love a man correctly:

Hug him and kiss him and call him George.

Don’t be so difficult that he tires of trying to please you. Buy your yogurt yourself if it’s so important to you. Load the toilet paper yourself if it’s so important to you. Put the seat down yourself, it’s not hard.

PS why is this stuff so important to you?

 

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23 thoughts on “Toilet Seat Debate – Solved!!!

  1. What, you want life to be easier? That’s radical! Actually it wasn’t the women in my life who taught me to put the seat down. It was the cats. It only takes one time of rescuing a very wet and unhappy (if somewhat clumsy) and complaining cat from a toilet exploration gone wrong.

    Liked by 3 people

    • If that rule was followed religiously, it would be either always up or down. I prefer the “go with the flow” approach. If a bunch of guys are over, its stays up. If a bunch of gals, it stays down. If just a man and a woman, it’s up and down.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Ah, but I prefer option number three: Always close the darned thing. That way, it matters not the sex of the person using it, the lid must be lifted. Either one or both, but one must lift to avoid making a mess. Those who choose not to are to be evicted from not only the party, but the property and the lives. No one needs that kind of inconsiderate jerk hanging around, anyway.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Option 3 wont work for 2 reasons. 1. Boys and men like to pee at 4AM without turning on lights. That’ll get messy fast. 2. Dogs and cats, at least mine, prefer cold toilet water over the water in their own bowls. Yucky, i know.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. funny funny funny!!! you’re right. don’t sweat the small stuff. My loo roll sits on the edge of the bath, or the top of the loo, or the floor… as long as i don’t find myself in there and its all gone. With teen boys and a hubby the seat is often where i’d prefer it not to be… but why make a fuss about it I have both hands and a washbasin with soap.. Neither of my men/boys leave piss on the toilet seat – for that I am grateful. As for the yoghurts…

    Liked by 1 person

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