Five Ways To Avoid Being Clingy

Five Ways To Avoid Being Clingy.pngMother always told me to never call a guy and to wait for him to call. Lame, I’m calling dudes whenever I want, but I’m independent, so I know the line. (Why do I hear laughter?)

    1. You don’t have to see or talk to your guy every day. If you haven’t slept with him, and you’re only dating, why would you even want to?

2. Don’t leave things at his place. Sure, it’s nice to have some spare tampons, toothbrushes, clean underwear, pantyhose, extra jeans and three shirts, but honey, that’s your whole damned house! He doesn’t need that.

3. Don’t stare at him through his windows at night. Guys hate it and really, it makes you look bad. Crouching in the bushes? Yuck.

4. Pretending you’re pregnant to make him love you? There you go, classy stuff, you’ll be raising that thing all on your own.

5. Finally, and most importantly, if he wakes up in bed besideΒ you? You make damned sure you were invited.

Mother would approve of this post.


24 comments on “Five Ways To Avoid Being Clingy

  1. quiall says:

    Hahaha. Brilliant!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jim says:

    make sure you have a spare key to the handcuffs. not being able to actually separate yourself from him seems a bit out there to me. maybe it’s just me.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Drew Sheldon says:

    I want to send this to my ex and highlight #3. Unfortunately, I already know her response. “I never crouched in your bushes or even stared through your windows. I only sat in my car and stared at your house. Multiple times.” It wouldn’t surprise me if she’s reading this right now. You really did help me laugh about it. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. memeethemuse says:

    Funny stuff. Not at all what I expected to be reading! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. They call men who do these things “creeps” and “perverts” What should we call girls who do them? lol

    Liked by 2 people

  6. dgkaye says:

    Great post. I like everyone of those points! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  7. plotless1 says:

    I actually encourage a toothbrush. Some morning breath makes me gag.

    Funny stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Crouching in the bushes and running for cover are such great exercises, I would hate to give that up. LOL!! Love this post.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Deb says:

    I approve this post too. Hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hilarious!!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I love it!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. nouhaarc says:

    Great post! I love it πŸ˜πŸ˜ƒ

    Liked by 1 person

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