Don’t Make Me Read Your Blog Advice!

/ November 3, 2015

woman-2937205_1920Are you a new blogger?

If so, I have blogging advice you can actually use! I’ve only been blogging a year and a half, and still to this day, I’m entirely overwhelmed. Therefore, I’m still looking up blogging tips and tricks and paying attention to the details.

Firstly, laugh my damn ass off. You are giving me Pinterest tips? You have three followers, your boards are a pigsty and your blog isn’t even the first board. Honey, don’t give me any tips about anything. Until you have a minimum of 5000 visitors from any website in ONE MONTH, you are not an expert, you are barely a novice user. So zip it.

Anyone can offer blogging advice, before you listen to them, go have a look at their social media profiles. If they offer tips on certain websites, they had better have a well established account with hundreds or thousands of followers. You have to prove you are an expert, to me anyway. Beware of those giving out advice, because there is nothing like getting Reddit tips from a person whose account has been blacklisted. Again, laugh my ass off.

By the way, due to my niche, I’m reading various dating websites. Question. Who is “J”? Why would I remember your “date with J”? I just found you, I’m supposed to know your life? Write each post like a brand new person has found you, they are excited to find you, but now they will spend their lives wondering “who the f*ck is J”?

And to put my money where my mouth is, here are some stats:

Skinz Social Media Profile

Twitter 12,600 followers.

Pinterest 9,685 followers, 25 active boards and 130,000 average monthly visitors.

I have more than 4 thousand viewers from Reddit. My blog is currently blacklisted, not me, not my IP, my blog. Anyone who attempts to post my blog there will likely follow my little blacklisty train. I am listed as part a “spam ring” (my kid told me this), and I can’t fix it. If you want to be successful on Reddit, get an account and don’t post your blog there for six months, make friends, be fake, pretend you aren’t a blogger and sell your sweet soul to the devil.

Please beware of who you listen to. They just may ruin you.

Don't Make Me Read Your Blog Advice

 

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72 thoughts on “Don’t Make Me Read Your Blog Advice!”

  8. I think blogging is like a marriage – don’t start handing out relationship advice when you’ve only been married for a couple of months, or even (ducking my head) a couple of years. Get back to me when you’ve been round the block a few times, had your heart smashed into pieces, and survived an apocalypse 🙂

    I agree wholeheartedly that taking advice without verifying the source is the path to ruin. Bloggers who blog exclusively about blogging only know about one thing … blogging about blogging. Those of us writing about our life experiences don’t need their advice. At all.

    Liked by 4 people

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  9. Thank you so much for writing this. My thoughts exactly. I’ve been blogging serioulsy for a bit more than 3 months now, and I’ve seen people who has been in for shorter than me that are now giving out e-book on how to blog.
    And the sad truth is because we learn as soon as we start that you can’t just be a blogger anymore. That you got to be a “entrepreneur”. It makes me a little sad to think of. /love Ida

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. Well, those were great advices…..I understood half. 🙂 which is good. I’m fairly new to all of this.
    From the top of my 2 months experience 🙂 I can say that what annoys me the most are the comments from bloggers that only say “I’ve followed your blog. Please follow mine”….Hmmmmm ok…….
    By the way…..I’m following yours…Please follow me? 😉 Just kidding…..

    Liked by 1 person

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  11. Ha! Yes! The same applies to novel writing advice. An awful lot of ‘novelists’ set up courses etc. to help us write a bestseller. They are not Stephen King or JK Rowling or anyone who actually makes a comfortable living from writing…sure they eek a living from selling their novel writing tips…

    Oops that was a bit ranty. Sorry 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  12. Love it. Now, I have over 62K Twitter followers, get several thousand views on my blogs per week, etc etc – but am forever getting people asking ‘how do we drive more traffic to the blog’? I tell them, they don’t do what I say. I think a lot of people expect it to happen by magic – or by writing posts whining about how they don’t get many blog views.

    Liked by 1 person

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  16. Blacklisted seems….odd.
    I have a regular audience. I’m not into J but I do have revolving characters on my blog and if it matters who they really are, then readers are out of luck.
    Why do people need Pinterest tips?
    I kinda liked my Twitter at like 350. Now that it’s 3000-somethin, I don’t enjoy it nearly as much. Too long hunting for my favorite people.
    Anyway, it’s a bit like 19-year-old people who’ve been married for 6 months, expecting their first child, telling you how to do home and family, isn’t it? No thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

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  19. Hey, I stumbled upon your blog through Twitter.

    You’re doing great here. You’re a funny, witty, down-to-earth writer. And I love that.

    What I find really impressive is your comments section. Comments on blogs have dropped off drastically since 2013 and major pro bloggers like Michael Hyatt and the folks at Problogger and others across the web have actually closed their comments section *because* people were commenting less. That your site is so active in this section is impressive.

    Can I give you some advice though (irony, I know).

    When I first landed on your blog, after reading and enjoying your first article, I scrolled to the top and noticed that you didn’t have an email signup form or lead magnet.

    Your blog is on fire now. If you’re not collecting emails with a lead magnet using a service like MailChimp, you’re missing out on a huge opportunity!

    I see a small line in your sidebar that says you have about 16,000 email subscribers (though it’s not clear to me *how* people are subscribing). That’s great! If that’s what you have without a form/lead magnet, you *could* have WAY more.

    Side note: with that many email subscribers you’re at a good place to write a book. Most publishers will begin to look at potential authors who have at least 10,000 email subs. So what are you waiting for? LOL.

    **unsolicited advice

    My Blog: http://derekouellette.ca

    Liked by 1 person

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  22. Preach. I’ve been blogging for all of 6 minutes (okay, months), and I certainly don’t have anywhere close to the audience I’d need to be egotistical enough to be like, “Follow MY success story HERE!” For real, y’all. Perspective and humility. Get some. Also, please don’t start a “How to Blog” blog unless, you know, you make your goddamn living as a goddamn blogger on some other site than your how-to-blog site, because we all know that’s a farce.

    Liked by 1 person

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  25. Another snarky post that left me thoroughly entertained. Thank you! I’d add that bloggers who offer tips ought to have a grasp of the English language, and a blog that doesn’t make you dizzy, nauseated, or leave you line editing each post. True story, but maybe I’m just a grammar snob.

    Liked by 1 person

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  28. Nothing irks me more than when I go to a blog and look at the number of followers they have. Then I see that they offer blogging advice. That is when I leave the page.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • I’ve read one that was written ironically, was hilarious. She’d say things like “you can see from my six followers that my success is off the charts” 🙂 otherwise, they shouldn’t say a thing!

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  29. Thank you so much for this, sooo true! I’m so over ‘experts’, and I find a lot of bloggers have terrible grammar and I’m just like, why? I guess people mean well but sometimes I’m not so sure. Anyway, loved this post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  32. I’m 49 and so new at blogging this is my first post in anyones comments section. I don’t understand most of the features, what they mean and how to use the buttons anywhere on here. I don’t care if anyone reads my attempts at blogging, except my 91 year old Grandma, I just love to write anything from short stories to lyrics. Your advice to new bloggers is the best information I’ve seen on WordPress. Thank you!!
    °•♪FrostGurl♪•°

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