What To Do If Your Newborn Is Really Ugly

What To Do If Your Newborn Is Really Ugly1Wow, if you Googled that and got here, I feel really sorry for you. Do you think your little darling is ugly? Are they all wrinkled and red?

Hell man, all newborn babies are ugly. They wereΒ just squished down a three-inch wide tube. Are they three inches wide? No, they are not, so of course they look like shit. Have a look at the woman who sprung the thing, she doesn’t look that great either, does she?

Give it a day. If you haven’t fallen in love with this baby on the first day, you will on the second. I promise.

For those that say “God doesn’t make ugly babies”, I wrote this for you: God Doesn’t Make Babies.

 

What To Do If Your Newborn Is Really Ugly

 

 

 

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136 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Newborn Is Really Ugly

  1. haha, my first born had a head of hair that was like 2in. long. I had this vision of a bald baby. And the delivery was horrible too. But they do look cuter after a few days…I seriously freaked out, and cried. Glad to hear Im not the only one. My second was like gerber baby. Picture perfect. All babies are different. Oh btw my son born with long black hair…his hair almost turned blonde after a year or so. They change quickly.

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  2. Bwahahahaha! πŸ˜‚ πŸ‘ My poor child came out blue, not breathing, covered in blood (I hemorrhaged), and was bruised purple from a very traumatic birth. But he was resuscitated, cleaned up, the bruised look went away, and he was very adorable within a day.

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  3. Ha ha ha ha.. Wow. I remember after what felt like trying to expel the Eeifel πŸ—Ό Tower from my body /and at least thirty hours labor/a c section… I decided to stop after one. Hubby wanted three.. But that is for another post! My daughter was pink and adorable from the start. With a c section they are not squeezed and squashed. ..simply plucked out of Mom /major surgery/nine gruesome layers. Really. My πŸ˜‡ looked adorable. Little blonde fuzzy head.. Identical to her Dad. ☺. This was soo funny.. I have seen many newborns who look like Coneheads . Ha. Thanks for the post. Made me laugh. My daughter was married in August and “finding her independence “…so I relish a random text. I miss her. πŸ˜”. So thanks.. Enjoy them while they are young. A love like no other. πŸ’• πŸ’•. πŸ‘Ά

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  4. My son was a beautiful baby and the nurses all wanted to take him home. My daughter looked like a red-faced Sgt. Carter from Gomer Pyle when she was born. But by the time she was 3, she was gorgeous. All babies aren’t ugly, but what they look like when they’re born doesn’t necessarily foretell what they’ll look like at 20. πŸ™‚

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  5. Thank God someone in the room is telling the truth! πŸ˜‰

    (I’m still mad as hell that an instruction book didn’t come flying out with that cone head creature. And then there were all those lies about how much fun it was to take a newborn home. I swear, everyone lied! … Especially all of the relatives.)

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  6. I’m so confused with this wordpress stuff, I thought I was following you D, since I’ve been around here a lot lately, lol. But I just hit follow again. My reader is out of control!!!! πŸ™‚

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  7. Hilarious! I saw this on a thread on FB. I didn’t think any of my newborns were ugly, one just wasn’t “photo ready” lol. My first two came out with a head full of hair and my youngest was bald. It was new and different for me lol. I was told he looked like Mr. Magoo and Uncle Vester (is that his name?) from The Addam’s Family LOL. But you’re right, after the first couple of days I was like, “okay, he’s gorgeous now! Thank goodness!” He still looked like a grumpy ol’ man, but a cute one.

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  8. Lol, my daughter was one of the ugliest babies I’ve ever saw. Of course, she’s turned unto the most beautiful eleven year old in the world!

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  9. My baby was pink and adorable with a very fine blonde fur ..frog 🐸 fur on her head. Just adorable. She looked exactly like her Dad. One of the reasons she did not look like a squashed grape was because I had a c section . Thus eliminated the squeezed and squish baby approach. Who doesnt want major surgery and recovery after a new πŸ‘Ά?? Good news… She is here. She far outlasted our marriage. ☺. πŸ˜”… She was married last Aug. Enjoy them while they are young and have time for you. It changed as she is 26 and getting used to her new normal. I bought a few minions for company. It beats begging for grandkids. I bought a Stuart and Kevin and Bob. Tee Hee… Maybe I lost my sanity. But they like me here! ☺ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚

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  10. Brilliant. How did the world get so full of hate for people in pain? I’m appalled that my generation has raised such judgemental, selfish individuals. No one knows the agony that goes through a person’s heart while making that decision.

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  11. Pingback: God Doesn’t Make Babies « Skinny and Single

  12. Haha so funny but true. My second baby was really dark hairy and fat. Her hair was so straight for nearly 4 years i couldnt do anything with it it finally grew long but she cut it her self and she looked like joe dirt my wild child. So back all over again short straight hair. I felt bad because she did look ugly. But she is so beautiful now shes turning 8 soon. Beautiful smile big brown eyes and pretty brown skin long brown hair shes still kinda chunky but i figured she will get my figure so glad she didnt end up like her dads side with no booty but she does have his sasquashfeet lol. I can not say nice words about his other two kids from his now gf.

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  13. I may be biased but all along i have said babies comes out looking like spuds. All swollen and squishy, but my baby came out not even swollen and cute, but white and not breathing. She was so skinny with chicken legs haha! She has gotten adorable 4 months down the line though!

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  14. This made me laugh. My mom would always tell the story of when my sister was born. They had to use forceps (way back when) and her head was squished. Each day the nurses would come in and hold up a baby and the mothers would guess if it is theirs. My mom said she was sad and embarrassed because her baby was so ugly. On day 3, the nurse came in and said “Whose baby is this?” My mom looked and thought she was too perfect to be hers, but, you guessed it, it was hers.
    Thanks for bringing back fun memories.

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  15. Hehe, it’s so true! I was put under general anaesthetic to give birth, and when I came around they placed this little bundle in front of me and I was like, why is her face so weird and squashed up?? Not the way these moments go in the movies! lol.

    Thanks so much for sharing over at #FridayFrivolity

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  16. Haha! This is hilarious! It’s funny, because I knew all newborn babies were ugly before I had mine, I was prepared for that. And when she came out I was under no illusions – she was all wrinkled and squished up. But it’s not until I look back at the photos now that I think, ‘Wow, she was even uglier that first day than I realised at the time.’ I guess that’s oxytocin for you. #stayclassymama

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  17. Hahaha love this. Completely true babies look like aliens when they’re born …..And for a little while after the birth. I think until about the age of 1 they look quite weird lol. Thanks for the laugh and sharing with #stayclassymama!

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