Why I Can’t Be Friends With Men

Why I Can’t Be Friends With MenThey just all want this ass! It’s tiresome and boring. Aaaaaand it’s a big fattie-fat lie.

No, my male friends don’t want my ass, I wonder if most of them know I’m female. Do they? I really couldn’t say.

Reason one why I can’t be friends with men: When you vent with your girlfriends they nod and sympathize. When you vent with your guy friends they tease you about how your voice cracks when you’re upset.

Reason two: If your guy friend invites you out for dinner, he’s wearing track pants and will put his feet up on the booth. Worse, he took you to a place with booths. He will pay and he will expect you to clean his bathroom in return. Your girlfriends show up on time, smell nice and split the cheque.

Reason three: As pretty as you are, your actual guy friends see you as one of the boys and you may as well not even shower. He didn’t, and he’s still in the same track pants. They even smell like the booth in the cheap diner. Your girlfriends know you are a girl, they’ve helped you squish your tits into a new bra.

Reason four: They are men, and, um, eww. We are girls, and, um, perfect bitch princesses.

Reason five: No spare tampons, no emergency supply of any thing girly. No nail file, mascara or lipstick (right? Say yes, please say yes.) Girlfriends have a purse with a little person who will sell you whatever you could possibly need.

Why I Must Be Friends With Men

My male friends are a constant reminder that there are some decent men out there. Wonderful, wonderful men.

Why I Can’t Be Friends With Men1
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173 thoughts on “Why I Can’t Be Friends With Men

  1. I couldn’t help but laugh. You’ve never asked on of them to show you how to change a tyre? You could be the perfect self sufficient single girl then able to join in almost every conversation you could imagine.Mind you, there are still the lessons in burping and farting needed before we accept you unconditionally.
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I have great male friends.. adore each one.. 80% are married and their wives don’t worry, because they know me, have met me. Friends of the opposite sex are a must I think, to be able to appreciate the opposite sex.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Men make some of the best friends!!

    and most strangers are friends we haven’t met yet and what’s the other saying.. All of were strangers at one time.. or something like that. lol..

    (skinny, single and NOT suicidal either!!)

    I am so glad I stopped by.

    Kind Regards – K

    Liked by 1 person

  4. As a guy, I can tell you that you can have friends of the opposite sex. I am fortunate in that my wife was not jealous of that. She knew my female friends and we all got along well together. She knew that I would never violate the trust that we have.

    Like

  5. It’s not like that for my 22-year-old daughter. She has a number of really good male friends who she can rely on and who are low energy to be with. By contrast, some of her girl mates are bitchy, competitive and downright hard work, flitting from one drama to the next. Men are much simpler beings – aren’t we?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh, you made me laugh, chuckle, chortle and even snort. And think about the differences between my guy friends and girl friends… (most are married to each other 🙂 )

    Hmmmm… I think I laugh more with the guy friends. The girl friends and I are more serious when we’re together. Hah – never thought about it before. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. HA! So true! Sometimes it can be so tiring to get ready though, so I feel for the guys. And at least then I don’t have to dress up either. Win win! You always make me laugh!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Great take on guy friends.

    Makes me think that my life is all wrong. I don’t own any track pants. I go for a run every day and have a shower straight afterwards. I wear Boss or Gautier or Joop aftershave, so hope that I smell nice (I can’t smell my own odour). I can’t remember the last time that I dined in a booth. I admit that I would probably insist on picking up the tab.

    I also admit that I do not carry any girlie spares to share with my female friends in emergencies and I have never helped a friend to squish her tits into a bra. I HAVE helped a female friend to squeeze into a pair of stretch jeans that was probably two sizes to small for her, but I am not sure if that qualifies.

    Fun post that provoked some fun thoughts in response. Thanks!

    Like

  9. Perfect bitch princesses! Yes. I have a midget living in my bag and he’s got the hookup on everything.

    Women without question smell better & are more prepared. But we’re undoubtedly more dramatic.

    My money still says they want your ass though. Because they’re…well, men.

    Thanks for linking up over at #ShowMeYours (Kinky, not linky.) 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hehehe, Well, you make me feel like I missing out because I don’t have any girlfriends. But its okay…I can fight, play football, kick a stone up the hill, and share a bed with 3 other people.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Lol!! I literally bursted out laughing in my office just reading the first line. This reminds me of my guy friends, they are just the absolute worst when it comes on to helping me solve an emotional problem but I love them to bits because at the end of the day as much as they tease me, they actually listen. Great post! Looking forward to seeing more from you

    Liked by 1 person

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