There Is Just No Pill If Your Life Sucks

Notable conversation:

Me: ugh, I am SO depressed, maybe I should get some meds.

Doc: you are not depressed. In the waiting room you giggled with a stranger. You told someone their baby was cute. You cheerfully chatted with at least five random people.

Me: but I am just so unhappy.

Doc: that is not depression, walk it off.

Depression is a serious illness. Depression isn’t about how you made poor life choices. (Like me.)

Depression is no longer finding joy in the simple things.

Depression is no longer seeing beauty.

There is no joy in the smell of butter, smell of coffee, smell of maple syrup. There is just no joy. It was sucked from you, regardless of what happens around you. It’s debilitating, it’s hard to understand, but it is NOT sadness.

I know, because I am sad, not depressed.

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62 thoughts on “There Is Just No Pill If Your Life Sucks

  1. The longer I’m on Earth, the more apparent it is to me that the first poor choice we make is to be born here. It’s like moving into a quaint old house surrounded by beauteous trees and finding it’s haunted by the ghost of a serial killer. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Thank you for this. I needed to read this.
    I actually said something like this to my husband the other day. “I think I need antidepressants”.
    But then I still find joy in things. I’m not depressed… I’m just sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have to say that having suffered with depression for 15 years (diagnosed by a doctor), depression is not that black and white. I’ve smiled at strangers in the past only because I was ashamed to let people see how I really felt, which was very depressed. A lot of depressed people try to hide their sadness because of either embarrassment or they don’t want to make other people uncomfortable. So the fact that your doctor said just cause you giggled you aren’t depressed, makes me question his qualifications.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I actually want to slap that doctor. Too much? Agreed. Apologies. But that is such a stupid thing to say. You giggled and talked with someone so you don’t have depression? I believe you that you do not–you know yourself but that is a ridiculous statement by a medical professional.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. We tend to think we’re depressed when something does not come our way or some expectations are belied. It may be an aberration but not depression in a true sense of term. Depression is said to have visited us when we are physically and mentally down and cannot find any way to come out of that situation despite efforts. For example, if despite our best efforts, our children do not follow good company and behave truants or despite our best efforts, we meet failures after failure – a situation from where coming out is difficult. Frustration writ large, no way for redemption despite best efforts and then all these factors combine and nag us night and day causing this negative emotional upsurge.

    But is not that we cannot come out of this situation. We can, if internal resolve, family’s succour and God graces come to us with our sincere prayers.

    Thanks sharing a thoughtful thought

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I hope you do *not* edit this post…

    If a doctor told me that in seeing me do those things mentioned he must assume I could not be depressed I would tell him he was horribly wrong. Coping is not thriving and many of even the suicidally depressed cope by acting out in way read as joyful by the unaware, sometimes just to spare the rest of the world around them the heartache of entering into their world. It does not require depressive catatonia to suddenly feel the need to end one’s life.
    But that is my experience.
    There are many shades of grey between depression, sadness, grief, suicidal ideation (with our without depression), etc…
    And frankly reading this made me feel a little apprehensive for you… but then just smile for the fact that there are some days I am thrilled with the smell of butter… and maple syrup! Sometimes together at once!!

    Depression and all its colours are a personal experience and I’d like to hear as many as I have a heart for.

    Sweet read!! Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. These kinds of feelings are no fun, but people can move past these kinds of feelings (and the situations in life that sort of ’cause’ them), so I’m really glad that your doctor didn’t give you a pill to ‘fix’ it.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Depression/Sadness whatever the clinical term for what you are feeling is real. Medicine can do some things but not everything. I hope you find your joy again. Learn to live life in a big way and on your terms.

    Like

  9. My friend killed himself cause of something like this. I have been threw everything.. abuse (mentally and physically) My ex told me i was fat when i was prego. no biggie lol i new i was. He always hit me, made me go to bed and treated me like i was a child… my parents disowned me, my Step dad put lies on me cause i told my mom what had happen to me that he did. My sister believes him! there threatening me when they move back they are gonna jump me… My step brother stabbed me in the belly. Feeling ugly, unwanted, useless. Put me threw depression.. i had no friends to talk to… I wish i was there for my friend before he died but my ex wouldn’t let me… i had to let him die.. cause he always accused me of cheating.. with no car… and locked up in a house… but i had found out no one will ever know you pain like your best friends. but you also have to know who to trust… i literately was thinking ways to end my life… I mean yes i was depressed badly sometimes i still get that way and put my mind on something i love. bout the laughing part i laugh my a** off all the time. i call it hiding inside. You are very beautiful women. just keep your head up ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  10. LOL I love the “Yell at me here:” as your comment box!! This post is so true, and thank you so much for pointing out that just because you are “Sad” does not automatically diagnose “Depression”. You’re words are enlightening, and something that a lot of people need to hear. Thank you so much for this amazing post!!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Appearances can be deceiving – a friend of a friend leapt in front of a train one day (it was on CCTV – he was not pushed) and not one person said, ‘oh well, he had been depressed’ – everyone was baffled saying ‘but he seemed so HAPPY!’

    Liked by 1 person

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