The wonderful knock on the door, could be destiny, could be a shoe salesman, the possibilities are endless. Exciting isn’t it? That shoe guy might be hawt!
Of course, because life is just that good to me, it’s a religious fanatic trying to suck me in. That’s even more exciting than the shoe guy. (Has anyone asked themselves why there are door to door shoe salesman? No? It’s because I’m nuts. They don’t exist, but a girl can dream) Anyways, back to Jehovah Jack.
JJ: have you found Jesus?
Me: ya, he’s right here. Do you want me to get him for you?
JJ is silent, just the way we like em.
So ya, he’s currently in my closet, can someone help a girl?
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Haha thanks for making me laugh tonight – I really needed it!
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Aw love that, thank you 🙂
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Who’s in the closet? Jesus or Jehovah Jack?
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Haha JJ
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You ever want to get married again, put my name on the list. You are just crazy enough to dent my Englishman sanity. Love you.
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Aww love that lol and i will let you know 🙂
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I usually just tell them that I couldn’t be a “witness” ’cause I didn’t even see what happened.
Then I chuckle and close the door on their puzzled faces.
Been using that line for 20 years and it’s still funny, right? 😛
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Lol yes hahaha 🙂 love it! I will try it next time
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Yes, why are there no shoe salesmen eh!! XOX
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When a religious fanatic knocks on my door, how I respond depends on what I’m doing at the moment. You see, my mother was a religious fanatic, who went from the Catholic Church to the Jehovah Witnesses when I was 12—about the time I turned away from all religions.
My mother was about 50 then, and she lived to 89. When she died, she had about 30 different translations of the Bible that she had been studying for most of her life. She also had audio and video versions so when her eyes were tired of reading, she could watch and/or listen.
Thanks to her, I know a little about what the Bible says and what it doesn’t and when I feel like engaging, I have always known more than the fanatics at my door.
For a few years, a neighbor, who was one of those fanatics, lived next door. He made the mistake of preaching to me one time and never again. When we were done talking about two hours later, he admitted that I knew more about what the Bible said then he did. He never started a conversation with me again on this topic.
I left all religions behind in the dust when I was 12. Maybe the best thing my mother did was leaving the Church for the Witnesses because that opened my eyes.
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You are hilarious! If I start throwing all the people who knock on my door without an invitation in my closet, I’m going to need a MUCH larger closet. Things could get rowdy in there!
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Sounds fun!!!! Hahaha thank you for reading 🙂
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Reblogged this on Skinny and Single.
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I love your humor and strength as a woman but have to say your response, while funny, is mute because not one of Jehovah’s Witnesses would ever ask you, “Have you found Jesus?”
Just sayin’. 😉
It does seem like a sad commentary on our society, though, that someone who has a strong spiritual belief, that brings her/him happiness so he/she likes to share it, is now just classed as a fanatic.
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I agree. It is a funny post. But in a time when people can’t even be bothered to go to the polls to vote for something they believe in, you have to respect their commitment. No need to try to make them appear less than human.
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I may use that line…
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Haa please do, thanks for reading 🙂
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“Oh, you must be here for our ad for a submissive sex slave. Great! Here put on this collar, I’ll go get the ball gag, brb.”
That usually works pretty quickly.
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Hahaha love it 🙂
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HAHAHA!! Just right up my alley, this one! If they ever ring my doorbell again whatsoever, stating, “We’d like to talk about God with you!” I might just reply, “And what has the mischief maker done now?”
Another time, I was on the way home from a game when a drunk dude tried to talk about religion to me and the three other people sitting together. When asked which faith he belonged to, he replied, “I am a Roman Catholic!” Me, “Answer me one thing – if Catholics join a demonstration, are they Protestants then?” That shut him up for good.
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OK I’m sold. You’re officially my kind of person and writer. Love this. I’ve always dreamed of answering the door with a cleaver, a pentagram emblazoned apron and an atomiser with essence of dead goat but have never had the courage. Until now.
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aw, thank you 🙂 essence of dead goat is hard to find 🙂 so I stick to my usual…
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alternatives to dead goat might be Liquid Fence (nasty) and/or Pepper Spray. :o)
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This is fucking funny. I think I’m going to go knock on some JJ door selling my mumbo jumbo.
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This used to be my favorite post 🙂
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