The wonderful knock on the door, could be destiny, could be a shoe salesman, the possibilities are endless. Exciting isn’t it? That shoe guy might be hawt!
Of course, because life is just that good to me, it’s a religious fanatic trying to suck me in. That’s even more exciting than the shoe guy. (Has anyone asked themselves why there are door to door shoe salesman? No? It’s because I’m nuts. They don’t exist, but a girl can dream) Anyways, back to Jehovah Jack.
JJ: have you found Jesus?
Me: ya, he’s right here. Do you want me to get him for you?
JJ is silent, just the way we like em.
So ya, he’s currently in my closet, can someone help a girl?
Advertisements
Haha thanks for making me laugh tonight – I really needed it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aw love that, thank you π
LikeLike
Who’s in the closet? Jesus or Jehovah Jack?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha JJ
LikeLike
You ever want to get married again, put my name on the list. You are just crazy enough to dent my Englishman sanity. Love you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aww love that lol and i will let you know π
LikeLike
I usually just tell them that I couldn’t be a “witness” ’cause I didn’t even see what happened.
Then I chuckle and close the door on their puzzled faces.
Been using that line for 20 years and it’s still funny, right? π
LikeLiked by 2 people
Lol yes hahaha π love it! I will try it next time
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, why are there no shoe salesmen eh!! XOX
LikeLiked by 1 person
When a religious fanatic knocks on my door, how I respond depends on what I’m doing at the moment. You see, my mother was a religious fanatic, who went from the Catholic Church to the Jehovah Witnesses when I was 12—about the time I turned away from all religions.
My mother was about 50 then, and she lived to 89. When she died, she had about 30 different translations of the Bible that she had been studying for most of her life. She also had audio and video versions so when her eyes were tired of reading, she could watch and/or listen.
Thanks to her, I know a little about what the Bible says and what it doesn’t and when I feel like engaging, I have always known more than the fanatics at my door.
For a few years, a neighbor, who was one of those fanatics, lived next door. He made the mistake of preaching to me one time and never again. When we were done talking about two hours later, he admitted that I knew more about what the Bible said then he did. He never started a conversation with me again on this topic.
I left all religions behind in the dust when I was 12. Maybe the best thing my mother did was leaving the Church for the Witnesses because that opened my eyes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are hilarious! If I start throwing all the people who knock on my door without an invitation in my closet, I’m going to need a MUCH larger closet. Things could get rowdy in there!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds fun!!!! Hahaha thank you for reading π
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Skinny and Single.
LikeLike
I love your humor and strength as a woman but have to say your response, while funny, is mute because not one of Jehovah’s Witnesses would ever ask you, “Have you found Jesus?”
Just sayin’. π
It does seem like a sad commentary on our society, though, that someone who has a strong spiritual belief, that brings her/him happiness so he/she likes to share it, is now just classed as a fanatic.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree. It is a funny post. But in a time when people can’t even be bothered to go to the polls to vote for something they believe in, you have to respect their commitment. No need to try to make them appear less than human.
LikeLike
I may use that line…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haa please do, thanks for reading π
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Oh, you must be here for our ad for a submissive sex slave. Great! Here put on this collar, I’ll go get the ball gag, brb.”
That usually works pretty quickly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahaha love it π
LikeLike
HAHAHA!! Just right up my alley, this one! If they ever ring my doorbell again whatsoever, stating, “We’d like to talk about God with you!” I might just reply, “And what has the mischief maker done now?”
Another time, I was on the way home from a game when a drunk dude tried to talk about religion to me and the three other people sitting together. When asked which faith he belonged to, he replied, “I am a Roman Catholic!” Me, “Answer me one thing – if Catholics join a demonstration, are they Protestants then?” That shut him up for good.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: Pssst | Skinny and Single
OK I’m sold. You’re officially my kind of person and writer. Love this. I’ve always dreamed of answering the door with a cleaver, a pentagram emblazoned apron and an atomiser with essence of dead goat but have never had the courage. Until now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
aw, thank you π essence of dead goat is hard to find π so I stick to my usual…
LikeLiked by 1 person
alternatives to dead goat might be Liquid Fence (nasty) and/or Pepper Spray. :o)
LikeLiked by 2 people
This is fucking funny. I think I’m going to go knock on some JJ door selling my mumbo jumbo.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This used to be my favorite post π
LikeLike