Guest Post From Elena, you will find Elena’s blog here.

Forget every Disney movie you’ve ever seen. Even if you meet the man of your dreams, once you get that ring on his finger, he changes. Let me give you a glimpse of what it means to have a husband.

Husbands Don’t Keep Secrets

I’m not talking about the “my sister is leaving her husband” kind of secrets. I’m talking about the “I seen a pimple on your bum this morning” secrets. Husbands will blurt out the most intimate, embarrassing details about you if it will bring them a laugh amongst other men. This is why married women no longer get undressed in front of their men.

Husbands Fart

Anywhere, anytime and then they will laugh. They will go out of their way to make sure you hear it and appreciate it. You must be able to testify to its greatness should you be called upon to do so to his friends. Should you be the one to expel air, see paragraph above.

Husbands Leave Track Marks

It’s not so much because of bad wiping habits as it is due to all the expelling. There’s bound to be a few soldiers slipping through the hold and release antics. The next time you see a married woman at the checkout with men’s underwear, you will know why. Her husband shart.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure those points are universal. So, if you’re searching for the “dislike” button right now, stay single, you don’t have the stomach for marriage.