As previously discussed, last night there was a church social in my town. Now I’m not a church goer, and I also don’t technically believe in God. However, the meet up website suggested this as a great place to meet people. Yes, I’m a member of a meet up group, you should also get involved in these things, many different events for the single crowd.
So, here I go. I can’t wear my usual tube top, short shorts and high heels, neither can I wear my leather jacket, chaps and biker boots. I’m standing at my closet for a very long time. Ok, I’m just picking stuff off of my floor, why do I lie?
Hmmm, old bridesmaids dress? No.
Hmmm, I have a suit three sizes too big? No.
I can throw on my f*ck you cancer tshirt? No, better not.
Ok, all that is left is a pair of blue jeans, my white “Got Jesus?” t-shirt and my pilgrim shoes. Yep, even putting a darn bra on!! I’m quite sure I will NOT fit in with any of these people, regardless of what I’m wearing, so let’s just go for it.
This is pretty exciting!!! I’m potentially about to meet the bible thumper that will change my life!!!
Ok, I think I just drove back in time fifty years, is she really wearing an Easter bonnet? Yes, she is actually wearing a bonnet and I didn’t bring mine.
Now I’m not only skinny and single, I’m being stared at too.
“What the hell are you looking at buddy? Easter bonnets to your left, Jackass”
Stunned silence as Skinny and Single prances back to her car, alone, again.