An Ode To The Married Man To My Right

An Ode To The Married Man To My RightA friend of mine recently told me that she had an affair with a married man. Gasp!!! Meh, get over your shock, people are human. There are handsome and vital men out there, and maybe their wives refuse to touch them. Perhaps it’s been ten years since his wife touched him. People need love, affection and warmth. Now, now, I am NOT an advocate for cheating, but I really try not to judge. More importantly, I’m not perfect, so why would anyone else have to be?

There are many positive things about having an affair with a married man. You don’t have to do his laundry, do his cooking or clean up after him. You’ll get him in his very best mood, because he’s just so happy to see you! You laugh, always have fun and of course, the terrific and dangerous sex. Sounds like a freaking dream come true! How do I get me one of these?

Oh wait, yourΒ birthday coincides with a family function. Can’t see him then.

On Christmas, he has two families to visit and will be too exhausted to visit you, if he even wishes you a Merry Christmas.

On New Year’s, well don’t be foolish, he has to have a great dinner and make love to his wife, like you believed him when he said he doesn’t sleep with her? Silly, sure he does.

Oh dear, is there an emergency? Well, you can’t call him. It’s after work hours, better just go to the hospital alone.

Yes, please, hook me up with this painful, never ending nightmare. Sounds friggin heavenly.

I’d rather wait and have someone’s rank, filthy socks to pick up. Haaaaay.

 

 

An Ode To The Married Man To My Right

 

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82 thoughts on “An Ode To The Married Man To My Right

  1. It is an affair, not a relationship. Of course he wouldn’t be there for the important things. Unless it was perhaps his wife’s sister or something along those lines. Keep it all in the family perhaps?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Contrary to popular opinion, they do sometimes leave their wives. And then you spend the next 2.5 years with them going through a horrific divorce process, and then when all is said and done you can now be happy together except he doesn’t just have filthy socks, your relationship is toxic but you hang on for another year and a half because otherwise what was all of it for? And then finally you throw in the towel and mourn the loss of four years of your life along with your integrity…………. for example.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I’m forever amazed that people continue to believe men or women who are lying to their spouses to spend time with them. In order to be a successful cheat means also being a skilled liar. How then can they ever trust the person if you do manage to wrangle them free from their commitment? It’s sad how many times this blows up and amazing to me when the “other” is surprised. Didn’t they know they were a snake when they picked them up?

    Liked by 2 people

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  5. I see women on Twitter (usually blonde, thirties and with ‘protected accts) openly targetting married men. Happened to a mate of mine. Twice. Seeriously BAD idea…on the ‘not-s-funny front..(soz, peeps) a god mate on here has just split with her parnter who has had a cyber-affair 9I had to look it up). His 2 daughters are so disgusted they say they will have nothing more to do with him. Be wise. (Funny funny post though) x

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I don’t “get” infidelity. Sure, I can understand the initial rush and sex bit, but after that? The pragmatist in me just wonders at the time management skills involved. I have trouble making time for one relationship, throw a second person’s needs and drama in the mix? No thanks. It must be exhausting.

    Liked by 1 person

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  9. So thankful for the man who sleeps to my left. Didn’t meet him until I was almost 31, but the wait was worth it. He’s here when I need him and when our son needs him. Regular sex isn’t bad, either.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. This is the second time I’ve come along this post. It makes me chuckle every time. I have always wondered at the logic of wanting a man who has proven that he will betray his wife and family for you?

    Liked by 1 person

  11. About cheating mean, I had an affair with a married man, he divorced his wife and we were later married, it was really great at first, but guess what he had been having affairs while married to me for the last 41/2 years, and has hidden bank accounts. There is really nothing good about having an affair with a married man unless you can be as cold as him and not get attached, just use him for what he is worth.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. On the other side of the fence I had an affair with a married woman once. Not that I’m proud of it, but all of those things you stated is true! I was a single guy hooking up with a Married woman. Couldn’t do anything fun because “we could get caught” – on the positive side the dangerous sex was awesome! But that’s about it really.

    Give me my [now] wife anyday, over some toxic relationship that was doomed to fail. People need to talk more, then there wouldn’t be half as much going to see the milkman while hubby is away, or vice versa πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Fantastic description of the ‘married man’ affair. It really is quite a controversial subject that many poo poo. Some people just live and learn, and others may not realize the pot of wax they got themselves into. I write about this in my first book. Great of you to touch on the subject. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Great blog, nice crisp writing. I’ve been here before, and I’ll come back.

    I wonder if any of you feel some sorority with other women? One of the many reasons it wouldn’t cross my mind to sleep with a married man is because I wouldn’t want to be responsible for giving that kind of pain to another woman.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I initially wasn’t happy with where this post was going. As a married woman, I would be peeved if someone had to cheat with my husband and not find her own man. And then..I kept reading and saw the humor in your post. You have an interesting way of writing. Keep going!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Hi. I once asked my brother why men just don’t leave their wives if they wanted to be with another. This is his little gem. He said it’s because those who cheat know that they will never find someone who’s as good as their wives. So they want to have the cake and eat it too. And they’re cowardly. Makes sense. By the way, your writing is awesome. So witty. Love it. ☺

    Liked by 2 people

  17. My ex cheated for 9 years of our marriage and when I finally met the other woman, all I could feel was pity. This is a great example of what love is not, and the problem with accepting less than you deserve. It’s a far too common female phenomenon, though men are not immune. Sad, really.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I’m 39 and single. I see way too many men (and women) who are married put themselves in this position. I really like your humor about it and totally agree. Why would I want any of that? I deserve so much more and I wish others would realize that also.

    Liked by 1 person

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  20. Great post. I really love your writing. I loved the comments as well. I’ve learned through hard lessons in life that you have to think situations through to the end because many, many things sound good in the beginning but can end with disastrous results.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. 1st of all I have to say you are hilarious! Sometimes a married man is your best choice! Anyway what do you do when your spouse just retires from sex and says hey I really enjoyed your 7″ of manmeat long enough to give me 4 sons with 7″of manmeat! But sorry now the party’s over so take your tongue and your jackhammer to the bathroom if necessary! I’m done! Don’t even think about giving our computer any viruses! I mean really! hairy milfs?what’s that all about? I do check the history you know! Oh and one more thing if you cheat on me and get caught I’ll give you the 1st promise I’ll keep in regards to your dick I promise you’ll live long enough after getting Lorena Bobbited to tell the paramedics approximately where in the back yard I threw your dick…I’m going to bed! Dont to forget to take the trash out and leave me $250 on the kitchen table before you go out in the morning I’m going shopping with my girlfriends! To get hit with all this just after the Dr put me on testosterone replacement therapy!! Overnight I had the hormones of a 25 year old and the years of experience to know. What most 25 year old guys don’t! That is If I commit to her total pleasure first mine second! Never deviate! Always a minimum
    30 -40 min of some good ole foreplay and guess what happened? I got pretty popular! especially when word got out I’d do the dishes and take out the trash out before leaving!! I’m gonna get caught! No question about it when 28 year old 10s blow off their 29 year old guys for a 50+ year old youll all know who it is if Lorena Bobbit is mentioned

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  23. Mistresses seem to think that a cheating husband won’t cheat on them…dumb! “His wife is the crazy one ” because mistresses believe all the lies cheating husbands tell them.
    I know a guy who won’t leave is wife for his mistress and his wife has know for over a year. They should both dump his ass!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Say yes to the dress code my dear, what you look like in dresses and evening wear, going out, the way you look, the way you wear your clothes, we don’t want to look tacky to our special someone do we.

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