Is it normal that I’m this terrified? Every single organ in your body can turn on you, destroy or kill you. I’m nowhere near the hypochondriac phase, but I smoke (potentially destroys your lungs and heart), I drink (potentially destroys your heart and liver) and cross the street (potentially destroys your skin and bones). I perform tasks every day that could cause injury, I wash knives, I boil water, I turn on the stove. I could burn my whole house down just by incorrectly making some French fries!
With all the potentially dangerous things that could happen, it’s a miracle that people get off the couch. You’re perfectly safe sitting on the couch all day, right? Well, once the laziness and subsequent obesity settle in, you’ve caused a new host of issues.
Are you suitably terrified yet? Terrific, I will see you jogging in the park tomorrow with your kelp smoothie, I’m getting another beer.